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Roasted Veggie Burger - grilled pineapple relish, avocado, piquillo pepper, tomato aioli, toasted brioche bun

If you’re a boring executive or an ambitious assistant and want to treat yourself to a quick, boozy, upscale lunch, Upper West is the perfect spot for you.

Unfortunately for you, that’s all I gotta say about the joint. No complaints. Really great veggie burger, super tasty grilled cheese, friendly service, not too expensive, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I warned you I wasn’t going to give boring reviews, and I’m not gonna start now!

3321 W Pico Blvd
Santa Monica, CA 90405
(310) 586-1111
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  • September 4, 2012 9:25 pm
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Let the debauchery begin!

I’m a very unprofessional food blogger.

I couldn’t tell ya where half of the delecacies below are from. I’m so bad.

I was too busy imbibing and devouring to be bothered to take any restaurant notes.

Plus, it was so hot out that I couldn’t bring myself to stand in the sun any longer than possible.

I had so much fun though!!

I have to admit, this event was very well organized. Plenty of food and booze at your fingertips. For being a sold out event, it didn’t feel too crowded and there were so many vendors that if one line was out of control, you could easily find another place to go nuts.

The only thing I would change for next year was to provide a discreet vomitorium so we could go back for seconds!

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  • September 2, 2012 8:26 am

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Al Caprino Pizzetta

When old school Vitello’s (where Robert Blake’s wife was shot) got a remodel, they apparently forgot to also improve the menu.

Now, I haven’t even been here before but MAN, their red sauce is sh*tty!

It’s like someone squished a bunch of tomatoes with their bare feet at the end of a hard days work and dumped it in a pot.


While I still managed to eat every bite (bad red sauce is still ok), it actually really worked well on the pizza we ordered.

Super thin crust, tart sauce, dots of cheese, prosciutto and arugula. Great combo. For a light snack.

We dined at Vitello’s for their Thursday Night Jazz in support of Clyde’s father’s jazz band coming into town.

They were fantastic, I am always in awe of live jazz musicians. Such talent! As all that sweat can testify.

Apparently the woman seated next to me was just as enthralled as she was typing on her phone the entire time. I put my fingers in her drink and she didn’t even notice.

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Studio City, CA 91604
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Wouldn't change a thing...oh wait, you can't even if you wanted to...

After successfully trying all of the most important gourmet burgers in LA, I can officially state that the Father’s Office burger is my very favorite.

The best, if you will.

Father’s Office is famous for it’s “no ketchup” policy, but trust me. You don’t need it.

The garlic aioli they provide with the fries is ample and ketchup has no place mixing with the famous blue cheese/bacon/caramelized onion compote that drips lovingly from each burger.

It’s just perfect. No complaints.

This isn’t like me…

3229 Helms Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90034
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Goat Cheese, Kale and Caramelized Pluot Crostini with Honey and Fried Rosemary

Ok, I realize this crostini may seem super fancy and/or pretentious…

…this is just stuff I got free from the farmers market today! I’m not about to spend more money than I have to.

Every Sunday night I try to make a new and creative meal using the crap I get from the market and this time I made fresh salsa, Osteria Mozza-inspired crostinis and sort of healthy sliders.

BUN BOY’S SALSA recipe is really easy:

2 1/2 Cups Cherry Tomatoes
1/2 White Onion
1 Jalapeno
1/2 Cup Cilantro
2-3 Cloves Raw Garlic
1/4 Cup Enchilada Sauce
1 Tsp Salt (or more)
2 Limes (Juice)

Throw in a food processer and puree until it’s the consistency you prefer.

Always better the next day.

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Who knew one little jalapeno could be so spicy?....


I had the most amazing crostinis during my million dollar meal at Osteria Mozza and wanted to make something similar.

I utilized an assembly line approach.

I sort of cheated with the caramelization process and just boiled a 1/2 cup of water in a frying pan and dissolved a bunch of sugar and a little vinegar and cooked the chopped up fruit in it for about 5 minutes.

I steamed the kale for a few minutes and then minced it. You could also just chop it up raw.

I fried a handful of rosemary needles in some olive oil for a few minutes. Frying rosemary is magical cuz it causes the herb to disintegrate in your mouth.

Since I am a little tired of Burrata (it’s trendy, pricey and can taste a bit like cold, salty marshmellow fluff) I spread a little goat cheese on some toasted baguette and piled on the rest of the ingredients, finishing with a drizzle of honey. This part is necessary.

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I was too lazy to look up a meatball recipe so I just made my turkey meatloaf mix and molded them into mini burgers.

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Then I browned the patties on both sides in some olive oil while simultaneously dumping a jar of Trader Joe’s Marinara sauce in a large pot set on medium heat, where I finished cooking the mini patties.

The bakery I moonlight at has the best slider buns, so I snatched a few of them.

A super easy dinner which will knock everyone’s socks off (hate the imagery there) and your guests will never know how drunk you were when you made it cuz you kept scaring them out of the kitchen!

“The master is at work, people! Go back to the Kardashians!”

Gulp, gulp…

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  • August 26, 2012 3:44 pm

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Pink Eggs and Ham! (bacon)

Blue Cow is definitely a (blue) diamond (phillips) in the rough.


It’s hidden from street view in a sort of business plaza in downtown LA where boring execs and ambitious (slutty) assistants come for their 20 minute power lunches.

Or theater goers come for a nice but casual pre insert musical of the month here meal.

That’s basically your crowd.

Food is top notch. The hits were the fried chicken sammies and the fun and flavorful pink deviled eggs.

The caramelized peaches were awesome, really complimented the simple burrata and salty ham (which is cured in an attic like prosciutto).

Happy Hour is the time to come, everything is super cheap.


After the meal, Chesty Morgan and I went to see Mary Poppins the Musical.

You read that right.

Lemme describe the crowd. Half fell asleep halfway through or fanned themselves furiously (old people) and half were constantly being led by their mothers to the bathroom (toddlers).

We felt out of place until we were disctracted by the thinnest man on earth walking by (Jeff Goldbum). After stalking him for a bit, we took our seats.

My review of Mary Poppins? I have fond memories as a child and it was pleasant to hear all the familiar songs.

They made the Mary character into kind of a self centered, narcissistic shrew. But these are the moments the audience laughed the most.

Let’s face it, it’s a cheesy outdated story that needed a little tonge in cheek, so it all worked.

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Los Angeles, CA 90071
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Hickory Burger - Ample amounts of Hickory Sauce which tastes kind of like a combo of ketchup and bbq sauce

I won’t say Apple Pan is the crankiest diner in LA (that’s Factor’s Deli; that grey-haired waitress with the Elvira mullet will bite your head off and then take your order) or the most uncomfortably warm establishment this side of the 405 freeway (that’s the surface of the sun) but it comes close on both counts!

Why do people freak out about this place??

You walk into the crusty, prosaic 65 year old converted garage and are hit with a wave of heat and the dead stare of two grumpy old men at the counter (the only place to sit, no tables) wondering why you haven’t ordered yet.

No music.

No air conditioning.

No joy.

Hardly anything has changed since it first opened in 1947 and while that plays into Apple Pan’s charm, that’s not exactly a good thing.

The place looks like it could use some indoor power washing. And the drab interior is depressing.

Apple Pan is long overdue for a mysterious fire and subsequent remodel.

All that being said, dives can be fun if the food is good or they serve cocktails…

After seeing this burger appear on multiple Top Ten Burger lists lately, I felt it necessary to set the record straight.

This is not, in my humble statement of fact, one of LA’s best burgers.

It’s just all right.

It is not a reason to trek here from afar…like a Pioneer on his way to the better brothel across town.

Trust me, the house of ill repute near you is just fine.


The beef patty is on the thin side, which I prefer.

No tomatoes

Lots of really fresh iceberg lettuce

Simple, no frills burger. Not too big to bite into.

Burgers are decently priced, under $7.


Once you get past the history, there is zero ambiance here. Unless you enjoy ugly.

Try to come just before or after lunch hours or you won’t get a seat.

Cash Only!

The place needs some A/C!

It’s a smile free zone here; bad for kids, bad for the human spirit.

10801 W Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90064
(310) 475-3585

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Almost all this crap came from the farmers market!

Since it’s clearly too dang hot to turn on any appliance but the a/c, I decided I needed to make some gazpacho.

I never thought I would like gazpacho. Who the hell wants to eat spoonfulls of salsa??

It’s SO much more than that. The olive oil, vinegar and cucumbers really make all the difference.

Traditional gazpacho is pureed but I just dumped everything in the food processor and did my thing til it was a pleasing consistency.

I was torn between two recipes.

Ina Garten’s (Barefoot Contessa) and Rachael Ray’s (Annoying).

So, I combined the two.

I used Ina’s recipe as a base and then threw in an jalapeno, lemon and cilantro from Rachael’s.

And then added fresh corn cuz I’m just INSANE and some basil cuz why not?

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Kanpachi "tacos" - avocado / hijiki / aji Amirillo / creme fraiche

Unlike a lot of new, full service restaurants in LA, Towne took their time before opening.

They got everything right first.

Their menu is really solid. The decor is polished. The drinks are top notch. The waitstaff seems to know what they’re doing.

They even have a thing they’re known for.

The incredible array of homemade desserts!

Red Velvet Twinkies, Dulce de Leche pop tarts, Ginger Caramel Push Pops….

You’ve got no complaints from pre-diabetic Bun Boy.

Loved the creative Coco Punch, like a White Russian but with Bourbon and Cocoa Pebbles.

The kanpachi tacos were a fun few bites to start the meal however the highlight was actually the rich and complex bone marrow matzo ball soup.

If you don’t order that, you’re an idiot. I don’t care if you’re vegetarian. Don’t bore me with your personal details.

If I had to choose a disappointment, it would be the artichoke pizza. While it sounded great on paper, it just didn’t do much for me. I would have liked a tart or acid element to balance out all the rich creaminess.


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Lemongrass and Sesame Steak Banh Mi

Nong La is one of those popular new places who’s crowds and wait to get a table at becomes infamous.

Basically, you fear if you don’t get there by 7:45 a.m., you’d better get that sh*t to go!

Here’s a little secret:

Come on the hottest day ever (and at 11:30 a.m. when they open). People aren’t exactly lining up in the blazing sun (the outdoor waiting area is UNcovered) to slurp down a big bowl of hot ass soup.

Which I couldn’t even bring myself to order. So, I ordered the delicious Bun (Noodles topped with lemongrass grilled sesame beef, veggies and herbs).

Vietnamese Bun is one of my favorite dishes on the planet. During the devouring process, I usually can’t think of anything better. Everything good and right in the world is going on in that dish.

Plus, it photographs so much better than the boring-hued, one-colored Pho.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Pho. But not in the summer. (or in public) I tend to “add” to the soup as I’m a proficient sweat-er).

Gross, Bun Boy.

Which doesn’t bring me to the most delicious Banh Mi I’ve ever had….it’s perfection in sandwich form.

Not ordering it would be an egregious error on your part. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Los Angeles, CA 90025
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