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If you want to see celebrities, you come to Craig’s.

Please disregard the fact that I didn’t see any when I was there. But this is where they come, trust me. They’re reliable like that.

As I waited outside with my trusty camera bag, a would-be diner walked up to me (assuming I was paparazzi) and asked under his breath “Who’s in there??”

I should have lied and said it was Oprah, Gwyneth, or Pam (Dawber) but instead I let him down and told him I was here to photograph the food.

Because celebrities don’t really eat (pushing grilled endive around your plate is considered more of an activity) you would assume that the actual food would be an afterthought.

When I first moved to LA, the celeb hotspot was Il Sole and when I finally dined there I found the food to be overpriced and kind of blah.

Craig’s food pleasantly surprised me! Most of it was pretty tasty!

First of all, the menu is bipolar.

Half of it is comfort food (fried chicken, meatloaf, mac and cheese) and yet there’s a sizeable portion of the menu devoted to vegan items.

None of which we ordered today.

I’m assuming these items were to placate an actresses, such as Gwyneth’s, sensitive stomach. “If I have dairy, I will explode like one of those dead whales that sits on the beach for weeks in the hot sun. It’s brutal. And I’d rather suffocate my children with an organic pillow than consume sugar. But you go ahead, and enjoy. This meatless patty on a bed or arugula is my McDonald’s. Such a treat!”

Clyde and I shared enough food for 4 humans (per the usual) and stopped eating just short of feeling like absolute hell.

One of our favorite things was the Buffalo Chicken Pizza. I loved everything about this, the flavors weren’t overpowering, the crust was nice and thin as to not become a lead anvil in our stomachs.

We also loved the Jalapeno Creamed Corn. While $12 for a dish of corn and peppers is outrageous, it was DELICIOUS! Who needs money anyway??

The Honey Truffle Fried Chicken was excellent! Two substantial pieces of breast meat coated in a heavenly honey laden batter with just a smattering of truffle bits (it does not overpower).

A few things we did not care for were the Pigs in a Blanket. The hot dog chunks were a bit dried out and super tiny.

Also, the Sausage Stuffing came as three bland medallions, kind of flavorfless and not worth it.

I noticed they added $5 to the chicken because we must have used the dreaded “Split” word and they separated the entree onto two plates.

Try to use the word “Share” or better yet, say nothing at all. This meal cost us $100 a person (included two drinks each) so no need to rack up the bill any higher if you can help it.

Please note, this will NOT be the mentality of the hotshots dining around you. They won’t care what this meal costs and will be looking at you like you must have been given a Craig’s gift certificate by a wealthy friend for Christmas.

P.S. Try to get a wealthy friend to give you a gift certificate here.

8826 Melrose Ave
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(310) 276-1900
craigs.la

Only poor* people avoid the valet. This includes me.

Only poor people avoid the valet. This includes me.

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Table Bread

Table Bread

Danny Ocean

Danny Ocean

Cucumber

Cucumber

Meatballs

Meatballs

Pigs in a Blanket

Pigs in a Blanket

Sausage Stuffing

Sausage Stuffing

Jalapeno Creamed Corn

Jalapeno Creamed Corn

Buffalo Chicken Pizza

Buffalo Chicken Pizza

Honey Truffle Fried Chicken

Honey Truffle Fried Chicken

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Cookies

Cookies

Butterscotch Pudding

Butterscotch Pudding