Friday Night.

Full of Promise. Bursting with Expectation.

Hot nights on the town.

In bed by dawn…

Instead of all that noise, Chesty Morgan and I found ourselves sitting in a parked car on a dark, lonely street deep in the Valley shoving hot dogs in our mouth as fast as humanly possible while a homeless man and a stray cat watched in horror…keeping their distance.

Something’s gotta be pretty good to get me to the Valley in rush hour traffic.

Thankfully, Vicious did not disappoint.

The dogs were high quality, the buns were simple but did not get soggy, the toppings were ample but not over the top. Really good stuff here. $10 bucks gets you stuffed!

But I had to wait until the following day to write this post to REALLY tell if this place was any good.

You know what I’m talking about, folks. Don’t make me spell it out.

Hot dogs make me do bad things in the bathroom, I’m not gonna lie. Especially ones that have been sitting out since Methuselah.

After the arduous journey to North Hollywood, Chesty having to relieve herself the entire way, we heaved a sigh of relief to have arrived at Vicious 30 minutes before closing.

Yet, all the chairs and tables were put away.

Chesty’s bladder winced in pain.

“We can still serve you but only to-go. We can’t stay open cuz OUR BATHROOM IS OUT OF ORDER”

We placed our order and watched everything being made fresh.

Well, God knows the origins of the actual Dog, they could have extracted it from the cloudy, lukewarm waters of some misbegotten pot.

I guess we’ll find out…tomorrow.

We grabbed our dogs and headed to Pitfire Pizza so Chesty could pee. Pitfire was jumping! Every table filled with families, little kids playing with light-up swords, waiters navigating the mess wearing irritated expressions.

“Act cool” Chesty barked as she raced to the bathroom.

I tried to make my bag of hot dogs look like a bag of leftover pizza. I think I fooled everyone!

A two hour road trip and 10 minutes of actual eating. We don’t mess around.

After taking only a few necessary breaths between bites, we were soon on the road back home.

Uh oh, a DUI Police checkpoint ahead!

Our night of hot dog debauchery had paid off.

“You two been drinking?”

“No officer, but there’s an extra large milkshake in our future!”

That’s how it would have gone if the cops had even bothered to stop us. And if we were Mormans.

My very first checkpoint successfully completed!

Minutes later, we were in Astro Burger sucking down chocolate shakes (only after Chesty went ballistic that Malts were not on the menu.)

Just another good, old-fashioned, calorie-packed night with Chesty.

5231 Lankershim Blvd
North Hollywood, CA 91601
(818) 985-3647
http://www.viciousdogsnoho.com