When Jebbediah described this delicious monstrocity that his mom used to make, I knew I had to make an attempt.

Albeit, slightly altered.

Mix up chicken, celery, onions with cream of mushroom soup. Then put it between two slices of Wonder bread. Then dip the whole thing in egg, roll in potato chips and bake!

It kind of reminded me of those chicken bakes they sell hot at the Costco “food court”.

That place cracks me up.

While I love me some $1.50 hot dog and soda combo, I’m not sure why I find waiting 30 minutes in line is really worth my time.

A trip to Coscto at the wrong time of day (sun up to sun down, generally) can take years off of one’s life. One must treat oneself to inexpensive nitrites.

That and a buffet of samples.

Samples of shit we normally would have zero interest in.

“They’ve got free bits of power bars people, spread the word!!”

When we step through the doors, we are transformed into homeless zombies scavenging for free brain segments in nice white portion cups.

Rabid, foaming dogs, fighting over a chicken carcass.

I raced up, knocking a few grandma’s on their asses just to get a small hunk of a plain wheat bagel!

So disappointed, yet I ravenously gobbled it down as if it were my daily ration.

That’s all, woman?? Ain’t got no peanut butter you can slather on it? I can see the gallon tub of Jiffy just off in the distance.

All ready for a Morman’s bomb shelter.

Seriously, as a child I recall seeing a huge tub of apple pie filling in my Morman friend’s basement. I want to be part of THAT apocalypse!!

Free chewable vitamins? People will wrestle you to the ground for that first one.

The lady in the white coat is just blankly staring at us, like she’s feeding the birds.

Except we react less like birds and more like sharks.

Ripping her limbs from her as she attempts to portion out enough samples for all of us.

She’s never fast enough and she always runs out.

The meat samples, I get. There’s some substance there. Hot, beefy.

Who knew a simple shopping trip could turn into the Hunger Games??

What fascinates me is the expedience in which man can turn into beast over a free wedge of orange just blows me mind and steals me pot of gold!

As does the fact that I’m right there with ’em.

FYI, I’ve got an extra Chicken Bake in the freezer if anyone wants one?