“All you order is Spicy Tuna!” Chesty Morgan scolds me.

Everyone knows I’m NOT the one to go to sushi with.

Adventurous with crustaceans, I am not.

Weird rolls topped with onion rings, spicy sauces and jalapenos? Sign me up!

Welcome to the heart of Japan, folks. That’s where you’ll find me.

After visiting Oiwake, I decide to check out the Yelp reviews.

Ordering raw fish here is NOT advisable, apparently.

As we constantly saw people pass by holding trays stuffed to the gills with buffet fare, we knew ordering off the menu was a mistake.

Upon our exit, however, when our fears were alleviated. The buffet looked revolting.

The “sushi” available were pathetic excuses for California rolls, mostly comprised of rice. Looking like little white mice, stuffed and on display by the taxidermy loving owner.

They were also placed too close to the hot items. Most likely placing the sad sushi mice at danger zone temperatures. Danger Zone, like the ubiquitous Kenny Loggins anthem.

As average as our meals were, by skipping the buffet, we most likely avoided some severe cramping and nausea.

Speaking of Kenny Loggins…