Bun Boy Eats LA
BUN BOY EATS LA - Archives for 2011 September

NO TOMATOES CAFE

  • September 30, 2011 11:42 am

I knew I was in for an Indian culinary treat when I saw the cook throwing an empty box of frozen Samosas in the trash.

And when time nearly stood still as I watched the friendly zombie attempt to put on his gloves before assembling my meal.

Tik tok, people.

No Tomatoes takes a fierce stand on some people’s greatest mortal enemy, the Tomato.

There is a sanction of folks out there who utterly despise this poor, crimson Humpty Dumpty of the vegetable (sorry, fruit) community.

I personally don’t get it. While I don’t appreciate how tomatoes can slime up a burger, I do enjoy them on occasion.

Whatever you order, this café promises no tomatoes will find their way into your (previously frozen) dinner.

But they delight in displaying somewhat fresh tomatoes on each of their cash registers as well as several, industrial-sized cans of tomato sauce on a decorative shelf.

It’s unclear who they’re really mocking here…should tomato lovers be offended by such blatant neglect?

Sadly, they invest so much time in their anti-tomatic behaviors that your food is stone cold by the time you eat it.

All that being said, it was still really tasty!!

Seekh Dog (Lamb Log with Spiced Coleslaw wrapped in Indian Flatbread)

AMALFI

  • September 29, 2011 3:33 pm

The best thing about Amalfi is this cool light fixture

I’m gonna keep my Amalfi review short and sweet because my opinion of it is as such. It’s decent Italian fare for decent prices in a really casual but attractive setting.

The scary news is that I still have two slices of the pizza sitting in my fridge….and I went here over a week ago.

With all the tainted beef and cantelope stories recently, I’m not doing myself any favors by seeing how long I can keep food before it fuses to the sides of the fridge.

Like the skin of a morbidly obese man to his favorite chair.

Sleazer Salad

Pumpkin Ravioli with Braised Shortribs

Prosciutto and Mushroom Pizza

Tiramasu

The Grill on the Alley

  • September 28, 2011 5:51 pm

Loaves of Meat!

Famous bald movie director, Rob Reiner, gave me an odd look as Clyde and I entered Grill on the Alley, king of the Hollywood powerlunch, last week.

I had always been curious about this place. Power players, heavy hitters and the douchebags that want you to think they’re someone (for example, us).

But is the FOOD any good??

When you pay $30 for a meatloaf, you expect a little something more than the crap you ate as a kid.

(No offense Mom, I use ‘crap’ for dramatic effect).

I feel as if my mother had her bare hands buried in a mound of meat (that was to become our dinner) at least once a week.

Was that an oat I just ate, or one of her press-on nails?

I have to admit, of all the meatloafs I’ve scarfed down in my time (with the exception of my own delicious recipe) this was the best I’ve ever had.

Meaty.

Loafy.

Delicious.

(Not to mention those incredible spinach garlic mashed potatoes!)

Mom, sorry for saying “douchebag” earlier. It’s not a pleasant word.

“I taught you better than that!”

SEED BISTRO

  • September 27, 2011 6:27 pm

My friend, the Bread Guy, is trying desperately to get all his friends to start eating Vegan lately, after recently becoming one himself.

As much as I often enjoy Vegetarian and Vegan meals (do those words even deserve capitalization?), I don’t forsee myself turning into one of those people EVERYONE HATES! 🙂 Love ya, Bread Guy.

IN OTHER NEWS:

A few months ago, my friend (Anonymous) got revenge on someone quite creatively, I needed to share it.

She met this guy on an online dating service and it was going well. Too well. He starts throwing the word “marriage” around almost instantly and even had her meet his folks.

Two issues: He lived an hour away and he had a kid.

A while later, out of the blue, he sent her a text saying that the mother of the child wanted to reconcile and that he thought it was best to try and make it work. Basically, nice knowing ya.

Anonymous, well call her Courtney, sent him a long email asking him to really think about this decision, blah blah.

About a month later, he emails Courtney saying how crazy that girl was and essentially asking for her back.

A week later, she prepares this elaborate taco bar dinner for him for a planned date and doesn’t hear from him all day. Not wanting to seem too desperate, she forgoes her usual 17 mandatory check in’s and confirmation emails/phone calls/texts and waits for him.

He never shows and never calls.

After she finally texts him asking what happened, he comments that he was too drunk to drive there but that he’d love to come for any leftovers.

She tells him to lose her number and forget about her.

The story’s not over.

She goes back on the dating website and creates a fake profile, Rebecca Johnson.

She creates a new Yahoo email address.

She remembers he likes Selma Hayek and finds a picture online of a lookalike as her profile picture.

Then she seeks out Jerk’s page and “winks” at him.

If you’ve ever dated online, you know exactly what that means…

He emails back and they start corresponding and finally she asks if he’s had any luck online.

“Everyone’s been so needy and desperate and wanted too much from me”, he responds.

They set up a date to meet, but she refuses to give him her cell phone number “My rule is to never give that out until I’ve met the person at least once”, she lies.

She Googles and finds a bar slightly near him but just far enough away that it’s a bit of a schlep.

He gets a babysitter for his kid and heads off to the bar.

Courtney never leaves the comfort of her home.

After waiting at the bar for a bit, he emails her “Uh, not sure if you’re showing but I’ve been here a while now.”

She waits a beat and says “So sorry, I got caught up at work and traffic was awful. When I went into the bar, I saw you sitting there and I have to admit, you’re not really my type. Just not a match, sorry!”

She never heard from again.

Watch out guys, if you ever encounter a mysterious “Courtney” online…

BAO DIM SUM HOUSE

  • September 25, 2011 9:36 pm

BBQ Pork Bao

Growing up in Kitsap County, WA with a large Asian (especially Filipino) population, I was able to grab a bao from our local grocery store’s deli section, any time I wanted.

A big ole delicious baked BBQ pork bun, right next to the cheeses, meats and soggy croissant sandwiches.

I was one lucky young man (with zero weight or food issues).

For some reason, finding a good Bao in LA has proved to be a challenging affair. Whenever I go to dim sum, all I see are those bland, sticky, white as a ghost, steamed buns.

“Not the same!”, I cry in protest.

“Stop staring at me!”, I continue to yell.

When I found out a restaurant existed with “Bao” in the title, I knew I had to pass go and not collect my $200 dollars, or however that ridiculous saying goes.

The bao itself was tasty but not really the shining star of the show.

Those deadly, juicy pork dumplings (magically filled with piping hot broth) were fantastic.

And quite adroit at burning the shit out of my mouth and had me wondering what part of my buttocks the doctors would use for the skin graft.

If you look closely at most of the pics, I’ve smothered each and every item with a fun combo of chili paste, spicy mustard and ginger.

Enjoy!
www.baodimsum.com

Juicy Pork Dumplings

Chinese Broccoli

Scallion Pancake

Pork and Spinach Potstickers

Monterey Jazz Festival – A Story in Crappy Phone Camera Pics

  • September 23, 2011 6:57 am

I spent last weekend in Monterey, for the annual, historic Jazz Festival.

Now, I could lie and say I purchased tickets and got to relax and enjoy the music…but in actuality, I helped sell merchandise (mugs, t-shirts, colostomy bags) with my friend and her boss (who owned the merch company).

This consisted of long days, schlepping overpriced souveniers to the drunken elderly and trying to eat as much soul and Creole festival food as humanly possible.

You could easily tell the median age of crowd were in their early 100’s. This was evidenced by each of the main stages being stocked with ample seating. Try finding one single chair at Coachella.

Often times I’d be stuck listening to the honking, squeaking, tortured saxaphones playing at the stage situated directly in front of our store and wondered if that kind of experiment jazz, which I loathe, is used in interrogations banned by the US government.

However, todays oration involves my thoughts on questionable motel bedding and it’s baffling proliferation.

We spent four nights at the Super 8. I’m not sure which chicken came first, but I sincerely doubt Motel 6 is their Facebook friend.

As I lay in bed each night, I took a moment to examine the bedding that encompassed me.

And what items I should be letting touch my skin.

We all know and fear that dreaded, scratchy excuse for a comforter (with mandatory 80’s floral patterns).

It is neither comforting, nor warm.

Unless you’re absolutely exhausted or wasted, your best bet is to toss that body fluid factory directly on the ground. Just make sure not to lose a sock or bra in it’s deadly folds.

There is often times a little blanket draped over the end of the bed for a splash of color (usually curdled cream or ancient mustard) and most likely placed there to disguise the tacky Vegas carpet patterns on the comforter.

What I find beguiling is how every cheap motel also includes this odd, velveteen sheet layer. Does anyone know what I’m talking about?

Now, I’ve never seen a velvet sheet in anyone’s home before, but for some reason they exist in every motel.

I’m assuming this astro turf like velour is a cheap way of keeping in warmth but it just gives me the heebies. Extra long fibers to pick up germs and diseases, like a flattened duster.

You can guarantee they’re only washed after the crime scene tape has been removed from the room by the FBI.

The only thing you can somewhat relax about touching is the stark white, gossamer-thin, fitted sheet and pillow cases. You can tell they’re washed because the blood stains are usually super faded. Fresh blood stains are absolutely unacceptable!

Luxurious slumber will soon be mine!

Ok, as I spent most of my time selling festival wares and sneaking sips of bloody marys, I will now shut up and let you see all the crap my body did it’s darndest to digest this past weekend.

Pulled Pork Benedict with Chipotle Hollandaise

Dancin' Fools! - I did NOT eat them, however.

Banana Pudding with Nilla Wafers

Red Beans and Rice

Mac and Cheese

Veggie Pizza - The Festival's version of a salad

Watermelon Juice

Dark Chocolate Strawberry Popcicle

Beignets

Peach Cobbler

BBQ Trip Tip

Scariest Bathroom on the Planet

Three days of T-Shirts and Dying Saxaphones

CRAFT

  • September 20, 2011 8:43 pm

Baby Beet Salad with Blue Cheese - Guaranteed to make your pee turn red and give you a cancer scare

I’m gonna fight Soni tooth and nail on this one but as many times as I’ve been there, I’m just not sold on Craft.

Sure it’s pretty and the waiters are super friendly.

But the food is overpriced, served in tiny portions only a Smurf could get full from and the flavors have never blown me away.

Probably because I can never take a large enough bite to cover more than 35% of my taste buds. Don’t want to finish me meal to quickly, laddy!

I know Tom Colicchio is embracing simplicity here, but with all the food I’ve eaten in my lifetime, I need to be wowed. And wooed. I need my food to want to sleep with me. On the first date.

It’s been three dates, Craft…time to put out.

Today’s beet salad was missing the nut factor. And perhaps a bit heavier on the cheese.

The tomato soup was TOO smokey.

The beer ice cream was too…beery.

However, the corn and the table bread were excellent! The next time I’m in the mood for a corn sandwich, Craft will be my…well, would still be my second choice.

Call me cold as ice, call me way harsh, Ty. I don’t care. I calls em as I sees em.

Smoked Tomato and Leek Soup with Bacon

Corn Encounters of the Third Kind

Beer Ice Cream

HARRIS RANCH

  • September 20, 2011 12:29 pm

Artichokes fresh from Harris Ranch Farms

I attended and worked the Monterey Jazz Festival this weekend. If I never hear another dying

Saxophone again…

More on that later.

While I take the time to prepare my blog entry of the all the festival food I gorged myself on, I will treat

you folks with a few pics of my delicious lunch at Harris Ranch, specializing in the slaughtering of the

innocent, I mean for their delicious beef.

Rib Eye French Dip

WIRTSHAUS

  • September 16, 2011 1:17 pm

Sausage Platter

I’m in a hurry, so I’ll keep this brief (I have a life, people).

Wirtshaus is a fun new spot that fills a much needed German hole. Wait, what?

It’s a new joint, so they have a lot to prove, but I think the nice waitresses and great food is not just a product of being the new Deutsch on the block.

Now, watch this place close in 9 months.

www.WirtshausLA.com

Pretzel!

Mini Potato Pancakes

Supersiezen

Apfelstrudel - SO good...

PROVIDENCE

  • September 13, 2011 7:57 am

Egg Yolk shaped Screwdriver shot and Mojito Ice Cube

Providence is the King of all LA restaurants. It has been #1 for I don’t know how many years.

I always knew coming here would be a pricy affair but eventually this dangling, diamond-tipped carrot had to be mine!

Who needs to buy groceries or gas when you can have a night out in food heaven?

(If this doesn’t make up for the Chef Boyardee post below, nothing will!)

There wasn’t a single fault I can find at Providence. Trust me, I tried.

If I had to pick something, the decor was a bit lacking. When you’re spending this kind of money, you wish there was more to stare at. Our own personal Picasso would have been nice.

But screw that, the fish was PERFECTLY cooked, the flavors were fun and inventive and the service was so friendly, you almost forget you’re dining at a place where you’ll spend that little sum you were saving…for a downpayment on a house!

Let the feasting begin:

www.providencela.com

Box of Delights! Crispy Salmon Skin, Tarts filled with Mozarella topped with Tomato Compote, Smoked Trout Tart

Kanpachi, Soba crispies

Kanpachi Sashimi, Soba Crispies

Scallop, Baby Beet, Almonds, Nori

Seared Halibut, Potatoes, Scallion Oil, Chili Paste

Veal Tenderloin, Mushrooms, Grapes. To quote my friend on Veal: "Mmm...I can just taste the suffering"

Burrata Ice Cream, Nectarines, other crap. That Burrata...SO GOOD!