Dolores restaurant was a trip.

I’m not gonna lie.

It has all the typical All American diner elements (in case you were worried) including a varied selection of reclining chairs and patrons conveniently shuttled from Shady Pines Convalescent Center.

Diablo took me for my birthday lunch and as I looked around at my fellow diners, I worried some were unknowingly celebrating their LAST birthday.

What does one order at a diner when you’ve read that eating the chicken fried steak is like gnawing on a mummy?

The Meatloaf!

“Which is better, the beef or turkey?” I asked out waiter.

*stammering*

“Uh, I don’t know. Whatever you like, sir”

“Do people order the turkey loaf more?”

“Hmm. Not sure. I like my turkey sliced”

My choice was clear.

As we were finishing up, a homeless man entered the restaurant and asked the booth in front of us for a dollar for a burger.

“Here’s a dollar. Go to McDonald’s. You can’t afford a burger here”

Eventually, our waiter scurried up and started to tell him to leave.

“Your mama!” he slurred, while leaning almost to the point of collapse.

“Your mama, your mama, you’re mama!” he repeated, laughing or crying hysterically.

It was actually pretty sad.

Happy Birthday to us all!