Iâ€™m writing todayâ€™s blog in honor of my good friend Captain and her beloved pet, Sweet Pea, who has just passed away.
Which means, Iâ€™ll try to be a bit less cynical, cranky and crass than my usual Bun Boy self.
My cat growing up, Twinky, was my motherâ€™s first baby.
I was born shortly after her, but Twinky was definitely mothersâ€™ favorite human child.
My mother has always preferred the company of animals over people â€œThey donâ€™t let you down and donâ€™t bitch about everythingâ€
Which is not exactly true, considering her other cat, Winnifred (whoâ€™s still hanging on due to her superhuman Satanic genes ) is evil incarnate and howls and spits blood constantly.
Perhaps this is due to my childhood act of tying a cape (plastic grocery bag) around her neck so she could fly.
As she raced upstairs and downstairs (desperate to elude the cackling creature behind her) I realized my mistake and felt awful.
She has never been the same.
And refuses to take her Bipolar medication.
Twinky and I celebrated our 20th birthdays around the same time.
My father built ramps so her elderly frame could climb up to the couch (and pathetically slide back down, falling at the end when her claws would catch on the material)
She was the utterly skeletal, elderly queen of her castle.
Captain is a confirmed cat lady, just like my mother.
She spoils her kids rotten and her kids are adorable.
(Even Hipsypops, who Iâ€™m convinced steals childrenâ€™s souls at night)
I never really spent much time with Sweet Pea, she was always curled up in a ball on Captainâ€™s bed.
When Captain thinks an animal is adorable, she announces â€œI want to eat their faces off!!â€
Rest in peace Sweet Pea, you mother will miss eating your face very much!