My entire life, I’ve had an issue with swallowing food whole.

My grandmother would stare in horror as I wolfed down my food (and while Boa contstrictors would sit and take notes on my technique)

The irrational reason being, the more food in my mouth, the better it would taste. Perhaps hitting every single taste bud, like those poor forgotten ones WAY in the back.

A while back I had a near death choking event which majorly changed my eating habits.

I still stuff my face full of food, mind you. However, now I chew my food absolutely to death, so that, if I accidentally swallow something, it hopefully won’t kill me.

Inevitably, someone always comes trapsing in my office when I’m mid-masticate, and I look like a bunny that’s just snatched a cabbage from the patch!

The problem, is once you’ve accidentally taken too big a bite, there’s no putting the genie back in the bottle. You can’t spit out the gestated mess, because there’s no way it can go back in your mouth at this point.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself, why I am I discussing such a unappetizing topic on a food blog??

Because I feel like it!

And this restaurant really isn’t that great, anyways.

The greasy corn fritters were tasty but the thing below was so dry, I had to add about 1 cup (NOT JOKING) of chili paste to make it edible.

I like the idea of Indonesian food and the owners are SO nice, but I just never get blown away when I eat here.

The only blowing away occurs in the toilet an hour later.

Sorry…I thought it appropriate to end this post how I started it.

Revolting and innapropriate.