Bun Boy Eats LA
BUN BOY EATS LA - Archives for 2011 March

THE ALCOVE

  • March 30, 2011 11:30 am

Breakfast Panini

Breakfast Panini

Sure, I ate a delicious breakfast Panini, pictured above. Sure, the Alcove is a peacefully trendy brunch spot in Los Feliz and sure, I would highly recommend it.

But more important than that are my thoughts on McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets.

Please note, my musings (or rather, McMusings) are not new, shocking or revolutionary. I’m just reiterating what we all know.

I do enjoy fast food on occasion but I always lean towards my old childhood friend, McDonalds.

Their burgers are entirely their own creation, their own smell.

These silver dollar-sized patties contain a generous percentage of real cow’s beef. I’m thinking at least 50%!

But we’re here to discuss the McNugget.

I was calmly reading a book last weekend, coming across a passage where the main character goes and buys some McNuggets.

I instantly put the book down and did the exact same thing.

I HAD to have these ALL WHITE MEAT chunks.

Formed lovingly into two distinct shapes (naturally occuring in the poultry community): the perfect circle and the state of Florida.

So cute, a fried child's bootie!

So cute, a fried child's bootie!

And I had to have 20 of them! I was not f**king around.

Let’s dissect this phrase, ALL WHITE MEAT.

Sure, it’s 100% meat from an unknown animal, much like the unknown soldier.

And sure, the COLOR is WHITE.

But are we thinking this is actual BREAST MEAT?

Highly unlikely.

Would it really be that terrible to accidentally spill some biodegradable white food dye into the chicken product, soy protein mixture?

Yes folks, I’m blowing the lid off this McSham!

McDonald’s may, in fact, not be as healthy as you all thought!

That is all.

LA GRANDE ORANGE

  • March 24, 2011 7:15 pm

IMG_7756

I ate here the morning of the Knotts Berry Farms Fried Chicken Escapade.

After hiking the Santa Monica Stairs (150+ of them) FIVE times. I’m still sore as I type this.

Only in LA would a set of stairs be turned into a GYM!

Only in LA would a set of stairs be turned into a GYM!

I’m not gonna lie. The highlight of this meal was the incredible homemade ENGLISH MUFFINS featured above. Yum!

I also ordered a pretty decent roasted vegetable hash with poached eggs but my picture sucked. Forgive me.

The beastly Apple pancake featured below is enough for the entire table (if the Von Trapp family was joining you), one bite was plenty.

And the thing NEVER cooled down.

The apple pie filling must have been injected with time release LAVA!

IMG_7751

JOAN’S ON THIRD / SIMPLE THINGS

  • March 20, 2011 3:58 pm

IMG_7878

Today was a delightful, food montage of a day.

After finishing a vigorous hike at Runyon Canyon (my second, I woke up ass early to complete the exact hike 4 hours prior), Thelma, Louise and myself drove to the uber pretentious Joan’s for the best possible way to cancel out any calories burned on the hike.

Joan’s was a zoo, per the usual. Empty tables were non-existent.

I was pacing impatiently in my sweaty workout outfit, inches from diners taking FAR too long to finish eating.

I finally pounced on the next available table, the size of which would comfortably seat a child’s tea party if only one guest was in attendance.

Luckily the delicious grilled cheese and shortrib sandwich made up for the man smoking a cigarette next to me and the tourettes inducing bark of his dog.

Sure, we were now satiated. We were even full.

But there was a new pie shop next door. It HAD to be visited.

When I set my dilated pupils on the selection of mini pies, my heart filled with joy.

IMG_7885

While we were waiting for our pies, I noticed an inch long hair hanging from Thelma’s nose.

When I went to brush it off, I soon found myself PLUCKING IT AS IT WAS GROWING OUT FROM THE TOP OF HER NOSE!!

This curtailed a bit of my appetite, to say the least.

We then scarfed down a salted caramel, chocolate peanut butter and cherry crumble in no time! This influx of sugar supplied the necessary energy required to do a little shopping afterwards.

The kind of shopping where I pick up items, muttering comments such as “I’m going to buy this for sure…eventually”

Store employees love me.

Mini Pies!!

Mini Pies!!

KNOTTS BERRY FARM “CHICKEN DINNER RESTAURANT”

  • March 14, 2011 8:00 pm

The "famous" chicken dinner!

When I received the text from Chesty Morgan that she was going to drive all the way out to Knotts Berry Farm for some fried chicken, I knew I had to come along.

I was knee deep in sweat and dust from ancient boxes I was helping my friend move in Santa Monica. “Dude, I have to go, I have something important to attend to.”

As we were seated in the restaurant’s “dining room” I could only focus on the cringe inducing attire of the waitresses. They must lie awake at night, envying the klassy outfits of the Golden Nugget’s cocktail waitresses.

At the “Chicken Dinner Restaurant”, we felt as if we were being fed by a colony of Sister Wives or something!

Unfortunately, they were all missing those nifty braids!

Before the chicken was to arrive, we guzzled down Boysenberry punch and picked at our soup and salad (apparently, the chef got irrate with some iceberg lettuce, showing his hatred by drowning it (and the lone cherry tomato) in a sea of Thousand Island.

Has anyone ever visited that lovely chain of islands, by the way?

Boysenberry Punch - Server left us the pitcher...wisely.

Boysenberry Punch - Server left us the pitcher...wisely.

After eating several biscuits (and washing them down with more punch) our chicken arrived!

Unfortunately, there was little room left in our stomachs.

But we gave it the old college try.

I was intrigued how the chicken breasts had become malformed into breaded tennis balls. More anger on the chefs part.

Akin to forcing Chinese women to wear those tiny shoes.

I fear the poor chickies were coerced into wearing torturous Elizabethan braziers. Perhaps with some boysenberry flavored feed.

We noticed the park’s admission was half off after 4:00 p.m. so we decided to stay, ride some rollercoasters and ensure the chicken would make a speedy exit from our bodies.

We were surrounded by…teenagers….it was hard to take.

They outnumbered us. They were all on fancier phones than us.

“Delinquents” Chesty, the future school teacher, muttered ever 30 seconds.

These young rufians also seemed to have a penchant for farting in line.

It was unncessary and cruel.

One adult woman tapped a girl on the shoulder saying “Can you PLEASE stop farting?!”

I watched as one coaster appeared to go faster than the speed of sound!

How does this not kill at least one passenger per trip, I wondered aloud??

I feared Knott’s Berry’s idea of maintenance was nothing more than a few squirts of oil.

I don’t know why I was trepadacious.

Each ride was safely managed by a 100% stoned teen, sending out misspelled texts in between starting and stopping the ride that could potentially kill us.

Boysenberry Pie - Crappy crust, overly sweet filling. Delicious!

Boysenberry Pie - Crappy crust, overly sweet filling. Delicious!

Fun Fact!

Walter Knott assisted in the creation and popularization of the BOYSENBERRY in the 1930’s and you cannot escape this seductive berry while you are at Knott’s Berry Farm.

NATIVE FOODS

  • March 13, 2011 6:44 pm

Native Foods 005

If you look closely, you’ll see the camera has decided to focus on the items in order of importance.

Chipotle sauce, potato salad and then, oh yeah, the fake chicken.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually really love faux chix but I’ve always been a sides and sauces man.

That Ficken patty was lucky I didn’t top it with the potato salad in a signature Bun Boy move. The unnecessary combination of unlike foodstuffs.

I used to go to Native Foods all the time when I worked in Westwood and found it truly revolting. Something obviously has changed cuz I’m now a big fan.

The employees of Sony are lucky to be so close to this happening vegan hot spot.

In other news, I recently had three women leave negative comments on my Thailand blog entries today. While I refuse to “approve” them as I firmly believe in censorship of the strictest kind, I will say this to the ladies:

Relax. You’re missing the point of my blog. I LIVE to make fun of things. I constantly have a dark cloud over my head, much like Pigpen from the Peanuts strip. Don’t take it so personally.

I obviously know the victims of the 2004 Tsunami had it worse than me, I could have arrived a few days earlier and be truly screwed.

My job was to recount what I did go through, exaggerate parts as I saw fit and show just how much I’m proud to live in the USA.

Peace out sistas.

Bun Boy

John_Lennon_Peace_Sign

BLU JAM CAFE

  • March 10, 2011 8:48 pm

MIGAS

MIGAS

I’m unsure if Migas is an appetizing name for a meal.

I’m more inclined to think it fits better in the sentence: “You’ve got quite a pair of Migas to say that to me!”

In other news, I’m on my third season on DVD of The West Wing.

To be honest, I really don’t know what’s going on 45% of the time.

I pause the DVD as often as possible to grab my “Politics for Dummies” to find out what the hell a ‘pundit’ or ‘lame duck’ is.

I didn’t grow up in a political household.

We never discussed political topics or even what we thought of the president. My father would usually snear “Get out of here!” to the television as he turned the channel away from the hated political figure of the moment.

Now, I’m intrigued with the political process.

Or merely the fact that I’m tired of not knowing what’s going on.

Or how, one day, I too could find a good job where I sit on some city council doing nothing, wondering what I’m going to do with all the money from the salary I just decided for myself.

The Burger Kitchen

  • March 7, 2011 8:58 am

Buzz Burger

Buzz Burger

You gotta love a burger taller than a supermodel and needing to be graphically impaled with a stick (out of view) in order to avoid toppling over into oblivion!

The Buzz Burger, containing enormous slices of jalapeno’s (and their seeds), is one of the new hybrid of gourmet, ‘knife and fork’ burgers. You would look like an idiot trying to eat it any other way.

We also ordered the beer battered onion rings, but they declined to have their picture taken (as they were feeling rather soggy that afternoon)

Afterwards, we headed to Milk for decadent, homemade ice cream bars.

I placed mine, lovingly, on a disgusting 7-11 parking lot partition to get this pic. Passersby wondered what on earth I was doing.

Banana and Butterscotch Ice Cream Bar from 'Milk'

Banana and Butterscotch Ice Cream Bar from 'Milk'

Random thought for the day:

We’ve all used the expression “Not too shabby”, but does anyone EVER feel the reverse? Is anyone overcome with bouts of shabbiness and vocalize this thought?

Or is Shabby only something you DON’T feel?

It appears to be a word wallowing in it’s own non existance.

So, later this week, if you’re not feeling tip top, try to let something know just how Shabby you’re feeling.

NATE & AL’S

  • March 3, 2011 8:19 pm

Hard Salami on Rye

Hard Salami on Rye

Nate and Al’s is an institution.

It’s one of LA’s million other institutions, first opening in 1945.

And like all other deli’s, it’s menu hasn’t changed since.

Let me walk you through today’s smorgasbord.

Stuffed Kishka

Stuffed Kishka

I don’t really know what these are.

And I don’t really know if I like them.

I do know I began to panic when the Scientist said not to eat the ‘skin’.

“Why not??” (and thinking “Is that skin??”)

“I don’t know. But you should probably spit it out.”

When we asked the waitress if other diners consume the skin, she replied “Uh..some people eat it”

Smoked Cod with useless vegetables

Smoked Cod with useless vegetables

Sorry, I just don’t like smoked fish. My honorary Jew status has just been revoked.

Macaroni Salad

Macaroni Salad

This is some quality Mac!

Matzo Ball Soup. Emphasis on "Ball"

Tasty!! Although, odd to share a cup of soup between three grown men.

RED O

  • March 2, 2011 4:33 pm

IMG_7175

The Red O is my favorite new restaurant.

Great food, friendly staff, large unstuffy, gorgeous space.

Ok, done.

Here are some random thoughts that occured on my way to work today:

Do you ever see someone so crazy looking that you not only wonder IF they’ve ever killed someone, but must assume they’re on their way to commit an additional homicidal act?

Do you ever see a car so rickety and old (usually driven by the above and usually a Datsun) that you’re shocked it is moving without the use of the drivers’ bare feet, Flinstone-style?

Do you ever see a homeless person (usually almost hit by the car above) crossing Fairfax blvd with all his belongings crammed so tightly into a plastic Target shopping bag that has stretched SO gossamer thin that the contents are completely visible, (pressing against their plastic womb desperate to get out) and wonder how the thing has not burst yet?

Do you ever stare at someone so intently (usually at one of the above) that when they turn and catch you, you don’t even care because you just can’t look away?

AND FINALLY>>>

Do you ever purchase one of those premade salads from Trader Joes that’s packed SO tightly, you have zero chance of applying the dressing evenly without spilling half of the contents on the nasty counter top in the kitchen at work and all your fellow employees are staring at you and wondering why you chose to eat some nasty, wilted salad 3 days past it’s ‘Sell By’ date?

Spagarita! A Margarita with lemon and cucumber

Spagarita! A Margarita with lemon and cucumber

AJISEN RAMEN

  • March 1, 2011 10:38 am

IMG_7685

Some of my most favorite meals have been consumed in unexpected places.

Such as, in a mall food court.

This beef curry ramen is so freaking delicious, I can’t say enough about it.

However, the sodium levels are so high, my eyes swell up after my first bite.

Luckily, I don’t need to see how delicious this is.

It’s just like the old saying “If a bear shits in the woods and no one sees it…” Or whatever.