The Samosa. The world's perfect food. I don't care what's inside. It's fried. And I covered it in ketchup and some green shit.
Ok, Folks!! We’re done! What you’ve been asking for. NO MORE INDIA RECAPS!!!
While many of you have told me that reading my blog and viewing my pictures have made up their mind that there’s NO WAY IN HELL they’d ever go to India, I had a pretty memorable trip.
I saw, experienced and ate some pretty crazy shit. I caught a pretty intense bought of food poisoning from some harmless vegetable curry, but besides that, I don’t regret any part of my incredible journey to the far east.
Now get me the hell back to the US!
I don't know what it's called but it's pretty and pink.
Snake Charmer! The snake is hypnotized by the vibrations. And the poor thing's teeth have been removed. Call PETA!
Jaipur, the Pink City.
Liberace designed this Indian palace.
The world's largest single piece of silver. (Seriously google it!) It's bigger than me!
Gulab Jamun - India's famous dessert. Basically a soggy pancake ball.
I would rather drink a gallon of Ganges water directly from the mouth of a corpse than ever go into another Indian jewelry store.
The experience is both mind numbingly boring and incredibly stressful.
“Which one’s the cheapest?” we all basically asked.
All dressed up and no place to go. An elephant feels sexiest when covered in chalk.
When Elephants Attack! (I later pressed charges)
Elephant ride...obviously...
Shopping for spices!
Our valet. Wake up!
Eat at your own risk. Fly sauce NOT optional.
The locals like to keep to themselves.
The streets of Pushkar. Or pretty much any city in India. Are we done yet??
Here’ the thing about Pushkar. Alcohol, meat and eggs are forbidden in the city limits. For some reason, the stoners and hippies of the world are drawn here.
I saw some kid pass a joint to his girlfriend as they passed me.
Our tour leader told us “What they don’t realize is that while the local police don’t make marijuana a priority, if they feel like it, they can throw these kids in jail FOR LIFE”
Is that crusty old Ganges weed really worth it?
Welcome to Pushkar, wipe your feet. There's probably shit on them.
Our prayer plates. The coconut is holy here. Joan complained “I’ve got the smallest one! Looks like a shriveled monkey’s bollocks!”
A prayer ceremony with a holy man in the holy city of Pushkar. God knows what he's wiping on my forehead...
A band of hooligan monkeys, waiting for their chance to pounce and infect us....
Our convoy was in a traffic jam and this bewildered and bewitched the colorful onlookers.
The veggie curry that made me sick. I asked for extra spicy. They gave me extra diarrhea
The view from my hotel room in Udaipur
India loves their gardens! The flowers mask the smell.
Indian Pizza with peas and some questionable white sausage. Our farewell dinner with our tour group.
One of the highlights of the trip was going to Bukhara, where President Obama had dined a few weeks prior to my arrival. Their specialty wer kabobs. The lamb and chicken were some of the most incredible I’ve ever had… I’ll never forget that amazing meal.
$20 lentils. With an odd melted Cadbury Egg in the center.
The Chicken the president ate (and it was DELISH).
Rice Pudding with pistachios
My final meal in India. MCDONALD’S!! Instead of a Big Mac (as they don’t serve red meat in India) I ordered the Maharaja Mac (with chicken)
Your are so right Bryan, I never want to go to India. You have solidified it for me. Thank you