Bun Boy Eats LA
BUN BOY EATS LA - Archives for 2011 January

THE PENINSULA HOTEL – ROOFTOP GARDEN

  • January 24, 2011 9:46 pm

Citrus Cheesecake

Citrus Cheesecake

Before I go into my fabulous lunch at that dump, The Peninsula, I must express my general distaste of the dental industry.

I walk into her office with my British teeth and her Persian accent (“you have the teeth of a 65 to 70 year old!”) and she has me right where she wants me!

Earlier, at lunch, I had snapped off one of my pricey front veneers slurping on a noodle and had to rush in, vulnerable.

Before I knew it, I had swiped my credit card to the tune of $5000 and had committed to a year of invisible braces!!

I guess I was blown over by the glamourous fact that my dentist was voted one of the top LA doctors and would be appearing on the Dr. Oz Show.

This is the same dentist that had surprised me in a prior blog by showing up at my client’s CD release party. Did she know anyone there? Uncertain.

Cobb Salad

Cobb Salad

Now, onto lunch. My friend L.H. had graciously invited me to a fantastic meal (during one of our first sunny January days) at the beautiful Rooftop Garden.

I had to hide my camera in a paper bag as to not appear like a paparazzi. When I checked in, they saw the wrinkled bag and knew they were dealing with a disturbing level of celebrity.

The food here is not only delicious, but well presented. However, for these prices, the food should also take you home and have it’s way with you!

Jalapeno Margarita!

Jalapeno Margarita!

INDIA PART 6 – ARE WE THERE YET?

  • January 19, 2011 11:33 pm

The Samosa. The world's perfect food. I don't care what's inside. It's fried. And I covered it in ketchup and some green shit.

The Samosa. The world's perfect food. I don't care what's inside. It's fried. And I covered it in ketchup and some green shit.

Ok, Folks!! We’re done! What you’ve been asking for. NO MORE INDIA RECAPS!!!

While many of you have told me that reading my blog and viewing my pictures have made up their mind that there’s NO WAY IN HELL they’d ever go to India, I had a pretty memorable trip.

I saw, experienced and ate some pretty crazy shit. I caught a pretty intense bought of food poisoning from some harmless vegetable curry, but besides that, I don’t regret any part of my incredible journey to the far east.

Now get me the hell back to the US!

I don't know what it's called but it's pretty and pink.

I don't know what it's called but it's pretty and pink.

Snake Charmer! The snake is hypnotized by the vibrations. And the poor thing's teeth have been removed. Call PETA!

Snake Charmer! The snake is hypnotized by the vibrations. And the poor thing's teeth have been removed. Call PETA!

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Jaipur, the Pink City.

Jaipur, the Pink City.

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Liberace designed this Indian palace.

Liberace designed this Indian palace.

The world's largest single piece of silver.(Seriously, Google it) It's bigger than me!

The world's largest single piece of silver. (Seriously google it!) It's bigger than me!

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Gulab Jamun - India's famous dessert. Basically a soggy pancake ball.

Gulab Jamun - India's famous dessert. Basically a soggy pancake ball.

Shopping for overpriced Indian jewelry. "Which one's the cheapest?" is what every jeweler lives to hear.

I would rather drink a gallon of Ganges water directly from the mouth of a corpse than ever go into another Indian jewelry store.

The experience is both mind numbingly boring and incredibly stressful.

“Which one’s the cheapest?” we all basically asked.

All dressed up and no place to go. An elephant feels sexiest when covered in chalk.

All dressed up and no place to go. An elephant feels sexiest when covered in chalk.

When Elephants Attack! (I later pressed charges)

When Elephants Attack! (I later pressed charges)

Elephant ride...obviously...

Elephant ride...obviously...

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Shopping for spices!

Shopping for spices!

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Our valet. Wake up!

Our valet. Wake up!

Eat at your own risk. Fly sauce NOT optional.

Eat at your own risk. Fly sauce NOT optional.

The locals like to keep to themselves.

The locals like to keep to themselves.

The streets of Pushkar. Or pretty much any city in India. Are we done yet??

The streets of Pushkar. Or pretty much any city in India. Are we done yet??

Here’ the thing about Pushkar. Alcohol, meat and eggs are forbidden in the city limits. For some reason, the stoners and hippies of the world are drawn here.

I saw some kid pass a joint to his girlfriend as they passed me.

Our tour leader told us “What they don’t realize is that while the local police don’t make marijuana a priority, if they feel like it, they can throw these kids in jail FOR LIFE”

Is that crusty old Ganges weed really worth it?

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Welcome to Pushkar, wipe your feet. There's probably shit on them.

Welcome to Pushkar, wipe your feet. There's probably shit on them.

Our prayer plates. The coconut is holy. Joan complained "Mine looks like a monkey's shriveled bollocks!"

Our prayer plates. The coconut is holy here. Joan complained “I’ve got the smallest one! Looks like a shriveled monkey’s bollocks!”

A prayer ceremony with a holy man in the holy city of Pushkar. God knows what he's wiping on my forehead...

A prayer ceremony with a holy man in the holy city of Pushkar. God knows what he's wiping on my forehead...

A band of hooligan monkeys, waiting for their chance to pounce and infect us....

A band of hooligan monkeys, waiting for their chance to pounce and infect us....

Our convoy was in a traffic jam and this bewildered and bewitched the colorful onlookers.

Our convoy was in a traffic jam and this bewildered and bewitched the colorful onlookers.

The veggie curry that made me sick. I asked for extra spicy. They gave me extra diarrhea

The veggie curry that made me sick. I asked for extra spicy. They gave me extra diarrhea

The view from my hotel room in Udaipur

The view from my hotel room in Udaipur

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India loves their gardens! The flowers mask the smell.

India loves their gardens! The flowers mask the smell.

Indian Pizza with peas and some questionable white sausage. Our farewell dinner with our tour group.

Indian Pizza with peas and some questionable white sausage. Our farewell dinner with our tour group.

One of the highlights of the trip was going to Bukhara, where President Obama had dined a few weeks prior to my arrival. Their specialty wer kabobs. The lamb and chicken were some of the most incredible I’ve ever had… I’ll never forget that amazing meal.

$20 lentils. With an odd melted Cadbury Egg in the center.

$20 lentils. With an odd melted Cadbury Egg in the center.

The Chicken the president ate (and it was DELISH)

The Chicken the president ate (and it was DELISH).

Rice Pudding with pistachios

Rice Pudding with pistachios

India's Big Mac, The "Maharaja Mac" (chicken)

My final meal in India. MCDONALD’S!! Instead of a Big Mac (as they don’t serve red meat in India) I ordered the Maharaja Mac (with chicken)

INDIA PART 5 – TRAINS AND THE TAJ

  • January 12, 2011 10:18 pm

Finally! The only reason I came to India.

Finally! The only reason I came to India.

After our morning safari, we had a chance to chill out, enjoy another tiresome Indian meal and watch Sam, our tour leader, give us a cooking demonstration!

Look how much fun everyone is having!

Enthralled by the cooking demonstration

Enthralled by the cooking demonstration

After pouring about a gallon of oil in a wok, he put a bunch of dried herbs as well as what I like to call “CHICKEN RESIDUE”

The mess ended up looking more like boiled grasshoppers. Poor Jiminy Cricket!

There's something edible floating around here...somewhere...

There's something edible floating around here...somewhere...

One of our group kept taunting Sam for all the oil he was using. “You’ve got to be mad!” he protested in his British accent.

After lunch we set off for our second safari. We saw zero tigers, but lots more deer and monkeys. The weather was sunny and pleasant, it was quite enjoyable riding around the countryside.

Always a good time for a self pic

Always a good time for a self pic

With one eye always focused on where the next tiger would be hiding.

Running from the smell of India...you'll be running a long time monkey...

Running from the smell of India...you'll be running a long time monkey...

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As night began to fall, the safari took on a whole new feel.

The mood grew ominous and I was convinced we were going to break down and becoming the equivalent of Beggin’ Strips for Tigers.

Brucie, the short Canadian woman, kept asking annoying questions of our non English speaking driver.

The driver then informed us that if we didn’t escape, I mean depart the park by 5:45, he’d be banned from coming back.

So, he doubled his speed and I was certain I’d be bounced out and left for dead for the dinosaurs to consume my body.

“Welcome…to Jurassic Park!”

Joan ordered a disgusting Mutton Curry for dinner. Not one piece could be adequately chewed.

“That goat died of old age!” She said, lighting her foot long cigarette.

At the hotel bar (looks like a school play set) after a long day of not seeing Tigers.

At the hotel bar (looks like a school play set) after a long day of not seeing Tigers.

Joan and I had a few gin and tonics and a smoke in her room. This ended up setting off the smoke alarm.

I was truly shocked the alarm even worked.

The next day we relaxed and I read a bit in a hammock. Very nice.

We then set off for the TRAIN STATION for our overnight journey to the TAJ MAHAL!

How can I describe this filthy black hole of Calcutta? The place where I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life?

Oh, I guess I’ve already done it!

Well, the train toilets do not flush. They go straight through to the tracks below.

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You can imagine the ODIFEROUS assault we had to endure as we waited for the train.

We stood next to a food cart, containing a very large wok with bits of fried dough BLANKETED WITH FLIES.

And no one cared to try to shoo them away.

The lack of sanitary conditions seems to be of ZERO importance to everyone.

111 india train station

They were too busy staring at us.

Like we were a sideshow or a performer on Venice beach.

No joke, it was the strangest thing.

A large gathering of Indian men turned their bodies towards our group, folded their arms and studied us as if we had just crash landed on their planet.

Had they not seen white people before??

Being stared at is my pet peeve!

“Watch your luggage VERY carefully!” Sam warned us as I walked away to buy some chips.

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After we finally boarded, I found that Joan and I were to be bunkmates.

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We immediately broke out the gin and had a few drinks and a sort of train party ensued. It was a lot of fun and definitely a bonding experience.

Until a rat raced past Audrey and she began shrieking unintelligibly.

I don't know why we're still shocked when we see rats...

I don't know why we're still shocked when we see rats...

When Joan and I were told we couldn’t smoke in the connecting cars, we snuck into the tiny, revolting bathroom for our ciggys.

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We were DYING of laughter as we were being tossed about in tiny torture chamber and then tossed our butts down the toilet to nowhere.

After Joan went to bed, I snuck the bottle of Gin out of her bag (just kidding, Joan!) and we continued to drink, play weird games where Audrey would shout out answers that made no sense and essentially get very little sleep.

Accidentally spilling Mango juice into our booze.

Accidentally spilling Mango juice into our booze.

Oops, we're out of Mango juice.

Oops, we're out of Mango juice.

Night, night Joan! Someone ELSE stole your booze, I swear!

Night, night Joan! Someone ELSE stole your booze, I swear!

This made the morning when we finally arrived in Agra quite pleasant as you can imagine.

The Taj Mahal is essentially an enormous mausoleum for a Shah’s wife.

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That’s all I will bore you with.

Andrea, the Swiss girl, looked at the gorgeous structure and muttered “I sought it vould be biggah”

Now, I will let the pictures tell the rest of the Taj story.

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The Entrance to the Taj

The Entrance to the Taj

Protecting the Taj from graffiti artists.

Protecting the Taj from graffiti artists.

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INDIA PART 4 – TEMPLES, TIGERS AND TIKKA

  • January 5, 2011 9:27 pm

Tandoori Paneer (burnt Indian cheese)

Tandoori Paneer (burnt Indian cheese)

After taking 13 showers to properly cleanse ourselves from Varanasi’s “essence”, we fly to the city of Khajuraho, where all the Kama Sutra temples are located.

These shockingly well preserved temples portray many erotic situations on their exterior. And those scenes were all anyone was taking pictures of.

Perverts.

Some were so stupefying, such as a man having sex with a horse, you had no choice but to snap a pic.

However, you are still a pervert.

After our sightseeing, we left for our two day Safari adventure in Bandhavgarh Tiger Reserve.

We had an early morning jeep safari tour and then an evening one.

During the first 20 minutes, we saw our first Tiger. I was in awe.

It was one of the most incredible and freaky experiences of my entire life. All of us sat perfectly still as the beast walked through the grass towards us.

Then took a right and walked down the road we had just driven up, like he was bored to tears and couldn’t be bothered.

We then spent the remaining two days trying to see another tiger.

To no avail.

We saw lots of deer and monkeys.

But no freaking tigers.

We did early morning yoga and our instructor delighted in stretching us beyond capacity, only stopping when he heard a sufficient "yelp!"

We did early morning Yoga and our instructor delighted in stretching us beyond capacaity, stopping only when our yelp was loud enough!

Our flight was late, so this meal had been sitting around for hours at danger zone (kenny loggins) temperatures. As a result, 35% of us fell ill.

Our flight was late, so this meal had been sitting around for hours at danger zone (kenny loggins) temperatures. As a result, 35% of us fell ill.

One of the Kama Sutra Temples *blush*

One of the Kama Sutra Temples *blush*

People hanging out...in olden times...

People hanging out...in olden times...

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Many of us groaned when we found out we'd be seeing traditional dancing. I didn't mind. As I fell asleep almost instantly.

Many of us groaned when we found out we'd be seeing traditional dancing. I didn't mind. As I fell asleep almost instantly.

We celebrated a birthday during that nights' dinner. Soggy chocolate "cake" anyone?
Vegetable Curry. VERY tasty.

Vegetable Curry. VERY tasty.

The nightly routine for Joan and I....

The nightly routine for Joan and I....

Some sexy time kama sutra temple action.

Some sexy time kama sutra temple action.

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Ancient Indian Pamela Andersons. Be careful, you'll shoot your eye out....

Ancient Indian Pamela Andersons. Be careful, you'll shoot your eye out....

How embarrasing would it have been if these ladies had shown up to work wearing the same color?

How embarrasing would it have been if these ladies had shown up to work wearing the same color?

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Waiting for a few hours for our broke ass bus to arrive. We tried to shop but the locals harassed us incessantly to buy buy buy. So we bought nothing. We showed them.

Waiting for a few hours for our broke ass bus to arrive. We tried to shop but the locals harassed us incessantly to buy buy buy. So we bought nothing. We showed them.

A delicious mocha containing...uh oh...dairy...

A delicious mocha containing...uh oh...dairy...

To pass the time we bought booze from the booze store. Indian gin isn't half bad. But it ain't cheap!

To pass the time we bought booze from the booze store. Indian gin isn't half bad. But it ain't cheap!

Some Indian shit for sale. All guaranteed to tie knots in your stomach.

Some Indian shit for sale. All guaranteed to tie knots in your stomach.

My bedroom at the Tiger Reserve. One night I discovered a gekko and the next, a frog and many spider friends.

My bedroom at the Tiger Reserve. One night I discovered a gekko and the next, a frog and many spider friends.

Watching more...gulp...traditional dancing...

Watching more...gulp...traditional dancing...

Deep Fried Veggies! Derlicious!

Deep Fried Veggies! Derlicious!

Tigers in the mist. And my camera obviously needs lasik!!

Tigers in the mist. And my camera obviously needs lasik!!

"Dude, I'm outta here. You guys need to bathe"

“DUDE, I’M OUTTA HERE. YOU GUYS NEED TO BATHE” He wasn’t wrong…

Taking a break from our safar, a man makes the tastiest Masala tea with fresh ginger and spices.

Taking a break from our safar, a man makes the tastiest Masala tea with fresh ginger and spices.

Not everyone got to see a tiger that day. Aww...sucks to be them!

Not everyone got to see a tiger that day. Aww...sucks to be them!

Our morning safari nearing it's end...

Our morning safari nearing it's end...

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Kinda creepy....He's such a stalker!

Kinda creepy....He's such a stalker!