Bun Boy Eats LA
BUN BOY EATS LA - Archives for 2010 October

SANTA MONICA FARMERS MARKET

  • October 26, 2010 9:21 am

Our Famous Cinnamon Buns!

Our Famous Cinnamon Buns!

“Hey you! Yeah you! Ga-Get into my car. Who me? Yes you! Ga-Get into my car!”

Aw, the Billy Ocean song that defiled a generation.

No one can sternly demand women to get into his car the way Billy could. “Get in the back seat, baby!” He would insist. What woman could refuse this polite invitation for potential assault?

The 80’s.

Anyhoo, I was asked by the bakery (where I used to run my sub shop out of) to help sell their bread and pastries at the Sunday farmers market.

Since I like talking to all the weirdo’s and needed the extra cash, I gladly agreed.

I arrived at 7:30 a.m. (sans hangover) to help set up. Don’t fret, I won’t go through every inch of my day.

Santa Monica Farmers Market 010MUSICIANS

One of the perks of working the SFM is we get to trade our bread with all the local vendors for their wares.

The old tomato guy (who is a spitting image for Super Mario) comes up and hems and haws about maybe getting a few scones for the fellas back at his booth. “Well, they like anything chocolate. But only if you have a few extra… Did you like the heirloom tomatoes I got ya last week?”

He then returns with a tiny bag of tomatoes. One of tomatoes inevitably splits open, soaking the bag which I’ve placed on the ground.

I also, inevitably, step on the bag, making tomato soup, and toss the whole thing altogether.

“What did you think of the cherry tomatoes??” he asks an hour or so later.

“Um…a bit too sweet!”

Our Famous Croissants!

Our Famous Croissants!

The pesto lady wants free bread.

But does she give us free pesto?

No.

She gives us free samples of pesto on dry bits of bread that she would give to every other customer.

So, this week I stomped over to her booth, bread in hand.

“Five dollars!” she shouts.

Only sort of joking.

I snatch a container of pesto and be on my merry way.

Our Famous Cinnamon Twists!

Our Famous Cinnamon Twists!

The booth next door (Mexican food made my Asians) makes us delicious breakfast burritos at the end of each afternoon. They throw everything they can find in them (leftovers). Probably items I would not want to know about.

I soon get to know the vendors and at the end of the day, I take a big ass bag of bread and walk around, trading bread for a carton of eggs, fresh almond butter, a lemonade or usually just a smile and “Thanks!”

There’s this one homeless guy that comes around asking if he can buy a croissant for a quarter. I politely decline. I’m going to hell.

There are the celebs who push their kids in front of them and demand they ask for their own muffin. The tiny, nervous robot speaks its lines appropriately and then I give it a reward.

“Where’s the old bread guy??” People enquire constantly. “They had the best cinnamon snails!”

First of all lady, What The HELL is a Cinnamon Snail?

Second, we took his place and we’re better.

At the end of a hard day’s work, I grab my free bags of baguettes and scones and brioche buns and go home to give to all my friends.

I’m there every Sunday, stop on by if you’re around!

http://www01.smgov.net/farmers_market/sunday.htm

IN AND OUT

  • October 15, 2010 2:10 pm

In and Out 006 burger

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. People go crazy over free shit.

Take this burger, for instance.

Today, our firm hired the In and Out Truck to come and serve lunch to hungry accountants in need.

(FYI, I have it under good authority that these trucks cost $5000 to rent)

We’re sent an email that the truck will be there from 12:00 to 1:30 p.m.

And where do you think the entire firm is at 12:01???

Standing in line and freaking out.

It’s a burger, people.

There is no Golden Ticket.

These burgers don’t cure Spina Bifida.

People are laughing nervously and chatting about an unfathomable dream about to come true.

A burger they’ve all consumed a hundred times was about to be given to them for free.

Which is a savings of $2.50

Foreclosure be damned!

“Damn, you guys don’t have fries?” chides one woman to a cashier (a woman who’s arteries would most likely shut down for repairs if she were to quench her fry desire)

In and Out 003truck

A Nazi Gas Van - Are they really so different?

A Nazi Gas Van - Are they really so different?

LA SCALA

  • October 14, 2010 9:33 am

La Scala

I know three things about La Scala:

1. It’s a 50 year old establishment that was founded by the same guy who founded the bakery that I run my sub shop out of.

2. In the 80’s people used to snort coke off of dinner plates in plain sight of everyone. According to the book “You’ll Never Eat Lunch in this Town Again.”

3. They are famous for their chopped salad.

OK….So the chopped salad was tasty but not amazing. I ordered a shit load of chopped pepperoncini’s to mix in.

The service was great, I saw a waiter whiz by me at least once every 4 seconds.

There were cheesy halloween decorations placed shottily on the walls. It was like the owner let his 7 year old daughter and her friends decorate for a school party.

BUN BOY EATS THE LA COUNTY FAIR

  • October 5, 2010 7:35 pm

Krispie Kreme Chicken Sandwich!

Krispie Kreme Chicken Sandwich!

I’ve been wanting to go here for ten years but can never convince (drag) anyone with me.

This year was different.

I picked up Billy Goat Gruff and his girlfriend Silk Stockings and we headed to Union Station to take the train to Pomona, California.

Yes, the train to Pomona. Romance and intrigue was clearly in the air…

Well, we after having to park acres away, we ran Home Alone style only to find out from a clearly irritated Billy that tickets were $16 each and why weren’t you guys picking up your phone??

Screw it.

We’ll just drive there.

Aw, the LA County Fair.

It’s just how you might picture it.

I have this sneaking suspicion they sell food here...

I have this sneaking suspicion they sell food here...

Fried Foods, Fat People, Cigarettes ashing on stained Bud Light T-shirts stretched over protruding bellies.

Let’s be like them!

So, we did.

Here’s what we devoured, each having bites of each others deep fried bits of wonderment:

Deep Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly!

Deep Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly!

Deep Fried White Castle Burger!

Deep Fried White Castle Burger!

I suddenly felt queasy….It was about 100 degrees and 100% humidity….

I soon realized I was sweating out grease!

My thirst for OFF had been quenched (Odd Fried Foods)

You’d be proud of me if you only knew the deep fried items I avoided.

We went to the petting zoo, something that all adults sans children do and enjoy.

This is what we were after our eating frenzy...

This is what we were after our eating frenzy...

sweeney goat

goat

After being gang banged by hoards of hungry goats (what the HELL is in those green pellets, 100% pure Columbian flake??) we soon grew tired of the ammonia smell and went to see the pig races!

But not before getting one of these.

snow cone
Copious amounts of sugar were now keeping the lake of grease company in my stomach.

Pigs racing is cute. I’ll give you that.

pig races

But the dichotomy of Captain and Tennille’s excitement coupled with the sheer boredom of the crowds in the bandstands was palpable.

Captain kept mentioning how the pigs were so cute that she “want to bite their faces off!! I want to put their snouts in my mouth!!”

As both gals squealed with joy as the little piggies raced around the track, I noticed the entire crowd behind us (we got there too late to get seats) looking at the two as if they were completely out of their mind.

After the pig races, we were all handed this. Wrong, just wrong.

free bacon

Then we were surprised by another round of animal cruelty.

Duck Races!!

duck races
I have to admit. This was pretty damn adorable.

We wandered around the fair, looking at Enormous Pumpkins.

pumpkin
We saw ginormous floral crap.

floral display

We witnessed dinosaurs roaming the earth.

These are not fried, nor edible. BORING!

These are not fried, nor edible. BORING!

Getting lectures about bees. Look how enthralled we are.

bored with bees

After Captain and Tennille had their fill and left, BGG and SS and I walked to the elephant section and watched patrons pay $7 to walk around in a tiny circle on a pissed off elephant.

Elephants Gerald

Elephants Gerald

Silk Stockings is a trapeze artist and she was going to join her group today for a Tissue presentation.

Or whatever it’s called. She was really good!!

.Our friend Silk Stockings..With the greatest of ease...

.Our friend Silk Stockings..With the greatest of ease...

There was a creepy older guy with magenta hair who went after her who….was not.

Dare I say, this is not a men’s sport.

I was so embarrassed watching his “butterfly out of the cocoon” spectacle that I didn’t even want to take any pictures to eviscerate him on my blog.

Believe it or not, this nightmarish zero-oxygen, bacteria-factory bubbles are meant for enjoyment!

Believe it or not, this nightmarish zero-oxygen, bacteria-factory bubbles are meant for enjoyment!

For some crazy reason, I began to crave more fried food.

HOT DOG ON A STICK!

HOT DOG ON A STICK!

Then we watched some girl climb an 80 foot pole and do tricks from the top. It made me dizzy.

Don't sneeze.

Don't sneeze.

Time to go before my stomach opens up like a broken levee.

SUBLIME FOOD LOUNGE

  • October 4, 2010 9:42 am

The Sublime Burger w/ avocado blue cheese spread

The Sublime Burger w/ avocado blue cheese spread

STATS:

Great burger!

Upscale, loungy decor.

Full bar.

Friendly Staff – The woman dropped a cut of mayo on the ground and it splattered everywhere, including on my shirt.

No one was eating there but us. Always a great sign. Eat here before they close in 3 months.

BUN BOY EATS A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY

  • October 1, 2010 11:19 am

Ok, I’ve been eating out and blogging about it for almost a year and a half. I’ve switched up the routine a few times and now I’m gonna do it again.

I’m going to take a picture of every meal I eat out and post it. I won’t always have something brilliant and mind-blowing to say, you’ll have to forgive me.

I’ll still blog about my travels and try my best to only write about the worst of the worst and not bore you with my pathetic attempts at food praise.

So, please check back and check often, so you can see witness all my gastronomic adventures!

Bun Boy