Bun Boy Eats LA
BUN BOY EATS LA - Archives for 2010 September

BUN BOY EATS YOSEMITE – AN UNFUNNY STORY IN PICTURES (BACKWARDS)

  • September 24, 2010 10:51 am

To describe Yosemite in words is like trying to capture it in a picture.

You just have to go there to witness it properly.

Before a few friends and I first entered the park, I envisioned it to be a Mother Nature Theme Park.

And in a way, it was. It was crowded, everything was easily accessible, there were ample bathrooms.

I was shocked the trails didn’t have handicap ramps!

I feel that the park rangers even made sure deer were always present for ample photo opportunities.

El Capitan and Half Dome, ginormous rock formations, are the pinnacle of your visit. Sort of the Splash Mountain or the Teacups of Yosemite.

Besides spending our weekend exploring, we also frequented the buffet in Camp Curry, where our humble cabin was located.

If you’re not staying in a hotel, you stay at Camp Curry, a sort of halfway point for those who don’t want to sleep in tents but kind of want the fear of being eaten by bears to loom…ever so slightly.

There were convenience stores and several places to eat in Camp Curry.

But we seem to always choose the 1970’s GHETTO ASS buffet.

Wow, my first Yosemite meal. It consisted of everything of the yellow variety. Things not found in nature. You got enough of that outside, I guess.

I don’t think anything green was even offered.

I’m going to let the rest of the trip play out in pictures.

Backwards.

Because I’m lazy, I couldn’t be bothered to switch them around in the order they downloaded.

Enjoy!

More meadow action

More meadow action

Yosemite September 2010 160meadow stream

One of the multitude of pretty meadows but I could have used a few more deer...to hunt...

One of the multitude of pretty meadows but I could have used a few more deer...to hunt...

We rented bikes on Sunday. I will never forget such a gorgeous bike ride...

We rented bikes on Sunday. I will never forget such a gorgeous bike ride...

Delicious Duck Boobies

Delicious Duck Boobies

Dinner at Hogwarts! Seriously, The Ahwahnee dining room looked just like Harry Potter!

Dinner at Hogwarts! Seriously, The Ahwahnee dining room looked just like Harry Potter!

Cheers, El Capitan!

Cheers, El Capitan!

We found a nice secluded spot on a beach to drink wine and admire El Capitan

We found a nice secluded spot on a beach to drink wine and admire El Capitan

Nature and crap

Nature and crap

The Top of Vernal Falls. I made it! More pats on back.

The Top of Vernal Falls. I made it! More pats on back.

Vernal Falls and Rainbow. My companions didn't make it up this far. Pat on back, Bun Boy

Vernal Falls and Rainbow. My companions didn't make it up this far. Pat on back, Bun Boy

Vernal Falls

Vernal Falls

The annoying steps up to Vernal Falls

The annoying steps up to Vernal Falls

We only got as far as the Top of Vernal Falls.

We only got as far as the Top of Vernal Falls.

At Breakfast, Jen makes tacos to sneak in her purse for lunch later that day.

At Breakfast, Jen makes tacos to sneak in her purse for lunch later that day.

A view of something or other...

A view of something or other...

During an early morning stroll, Thelma and I spotted this deer, killing it on the spot.

During an early morning stroll, Thelma and I spotted this deer, killing it on the spot.

A Typical Yosemite Sight...

A Typical Yosemite Sight...

My Delicious Dinner from the Jimmy Buffet. Most items were as flavorless as they were colorless

My Delicious Dinner from the Jimmy Buffet. Most items were as flavorless as they were colorless

Some bridge over troubled water.

Some bridge over troubled water.

Wandering around the Ahwahnee Hotel grounds. Most likely illegally.

Wandering around the Ahwahnee Hotel grounds. Most likely illegally.

The historic Ahwahnee Hotel for drinks!

The historic Ahwahnee Hotel for drinks!

After a day of hiking, we settle in with a nice Mammoth IPA

After a day of hiking, we settle in with a nice Mammoth IPA

Here's the lil' cabin we stayed at. Bathroom NOT included.

Here's the lil' cabin we stayed at. Bathroom NOT included.

First Class Accomodations! Bed Bugs Included!

First Class Accomodations! Bed Bugs Included!

This is the compound we stayed at

This is the compound we stayed at

An Ominous Crow. So scary he turned my picture black and white. Well, he prefers Sepia.

An Ominous Crow. So scary he turned my picture black and white. Well, he prefers Sepia.

More Group Action

More Group Action

Us on the Edge of the Earth. Well, actually they're strangers but you get the picture.

Us on the Edge of the Earth. Well, actually they're strangers but you get the picture.

This giant crevice scared the SHIT out of me.

This giant crevice scared the SHIT out of me.

Bun Boy and the gang posing by Half Dome.

Bun Boy and the gang posing by Half Dome.

Half Dome Adjacent

Half Dome Adjacent

View of Half Dome when we first arrive! So Ugly! :)

View of Half Dome when we first arrive! So Ugly! 🙂

I made this waffle from scratch at the breakfast bar at the Comfort Suites! Not too shabby!

I made this waffle from scratch at the breakfast bar at the Comfort Suites! Not too shabby!

Slab of cake - Claim Jumper - We nibled on this throughout the weekend..or Jen did...

Slab of cake - Claim Jumper - We nibled on this throughout the weekend..or Jen did...

Pot Pie at the Claim Jumper. Item may appear larger in your stomach!...

Pot Pie at the Claim Jumper. Item may appear larger in your stomach!...

BUN BOY EATS THE OC

  • September 15, 2010 9:01 am

group shot at goodys

I convinced a few friends to join me on an overnight journey to the land of fake tans, fake boobs and fake Republicans and finally spend some time at the beach now that summer is officially over.

The five of us piled into our Bonnie’s Jeep and we skedaddled on down to Laguna Beach.

We were quite unprepared.

We brought only 2 beach chairs, expired sublock, zero frisbees, zero reading material and no food or drink.

Yet we all remembered to pack our dejected attitudes and sullen expressions.

It was cold and grey and foggy.

As close as we sat to the water, we still could not actually see the water.

It felt like we were in Seattle in December.

San Clemente 2010 001beach

What now? Actually talk to each other?

After poking endless fun of each other, we decided our beach fun was over and we all needed a drink.

San Clemente 2010 003grey beach

We walked to the Casa Del something or other to their rooftop bar.

As it was one of those obnoxious first come, first served joints where annoying people (like us) are hovering next to your table. Waiting for the second you plop your credit card down and then leap onto your lap.

We had a few drinks, ate some delicous meatballs on a stick, chicken empanadas and tuna tar tar while enjoying the incredible ocean view.

San Clemente 2010 005view from rooftop

Then we left to check into our hotel.

In San Clemente.

The hotels in Laguna were all too expensive and required 2 night minimum stays.

So, I found the single most depressing place to hang our hat in Southern California.

The Comfort Suites.

Nothing sweet about it.

Our room overlooked the freeway.

It was dank and tiny and musty.

We walked out onto the morose concrete patio and I felt we had checked into the Baghdad Sheraton.

As cigarette smoke wafts over to us from the patio next door, we peak over and see some meth head junkie twitching and winking at us, as if to say “Hello, good sir!”

SANGRIA!

SANGRIA!

As we get ready for our evening out, I begin to itch. We have to get out of here before I catch something.

We find a cute Mexican place to eat at, yet Clyde insists on going somewhere else for a drink first.

“Why don’t we just get a drink here while we wait?” I suggest, as we don’t spot many alternatives.

“That’s fine, I just thought we’d get a drink somewhere else first. It’s fine”

Clyde is clearly disappointed.

San Clemente 2010 008meatballs

After I call him passive agressive, he becomes irritated and we end up eating most of our meal in silence.

I order a quesadilla for the table and as Clyde picks up a slice, it drips grease on his $250 jeans.

Oh boy, this could be a night ender…

We unecessarily fill our bellies full of food and now we are comotose.

Best trip ever.

We need to pick it up a notch.

We walk over to the divey Packers bar, Ole’s and have some beers and play a game of pool.

Then we begin the world’s longest, most boring game of darts on record.

We soon become zombie-like and Chesty Morgan begins throwing the darts willy nilly, breaking off the plastic tips of each one.

San Clemente 2010 009empenadas

As Siegfried knocks over a candle, spilling wax all over a pillow, we know it’s time to leave.

We head on over to Goody’s, a bar that claims “Where nobody wants to know your name”

Rarely does one find such incredible people watching.

I was quite entertained.

And not just by the surprisingly good 80’s cover band.

I’ll have to address three standouts.

The couple that were constantly slow dancing to “Turning Japanese” as if it was “She’s like the Wind”

The lady wore 6 inch clogs, which caused her to tower over her salt and pepper gentlemen caller. She was Manson Family and he seemed more Jeffrey Dahmer.

There were the three Amazonian women, looking like they had just been rejected from a Heart cover band tryout.

They were fantastic, replete with giant, Aquanet hair, short jean skirts they actually wore in the 80’s and drenched in their favorite Elizabeth Taylor fragrance.

They were having the best time, all smiles.

Even when the obese man with the confederate tatoos and not enough shirt comes barrelling onto the dance floor, drunk off his gord. He slid around like a pin ball, bouncing off everyone at least once.

Other stuff happened during the trip, but nothing really worth mentioning.

We had been transported to the 80’s this weekend and as miserable as I made it sound, we actually had a pretty good time.

What would life be like if there weren’t folks to make fun of? How would we maintain any of our own self esteem??

THAILAND – AROUND THE WORLD IN TEN DAYS – PART #5

  • September 9, 2010 9:47 am

This is exactly how I felt

This is exactly how I felt

They were all smiles until I mentioned wanting to buy a ticket.

“Well, you can’t really do that here.”

“What?? I need to get home! Where else would I buy one??”

“Sorry, but if you bought one here, it would be very expensive”

“I don’t care, I’ll pay whatever, I just need to get home!”

One of the ladies attempted to look something up on the computer.

In retrospect, I think she was checking her Fantasy Football scores or something.

“Yes, sorry, it’s too expensive”

“How much??”

She wouldn’t tell me.

I wanted to cause bodily harm at that point.

She was able to retrieve someone that spoke better English who informed me I had to buy my ticket at a travel agency.

“What? That makes no sense! Where is the closest one??”

“Right across the street!” they both smiled simultaneously, happy they were able to give me good news.

The fact that I wasn’t able to buy a plane ticket at the airport is something that still makes me seethe.

I made my way back into the hellish heat, schlepping all my luggage to this tiny hotbox that reminded me of a train ticket counter.

thailand streets

This was the travel agency?

I go inside and sit down to book my ticket, sweating like I was being dipped in lava.

I must have looked like a crazy person.

The lady ended up booking me a flight to Washington DC.

“No, I need to go to Seattle, not Washington DC”

Since she also spoke zero English, she wrote out “BGK – WAS”

“No lady, I know airport codes and SEA is the code for Washington State, WAS is Washington DC”

She insisted I was wrong.

We went back and forth for a while.

A man walked up to the window and asked if I wanted a lady for the night.

I politely declined. He continued to sit at the window and stare at me.

I looked at the ticket and realized the connecting flight to Washington DC was Los Angeles.

Hmm….

Was this a sign?…

Screw it, fine.

Book it lady.

I soon realized they only took cash.

I had to go to THREE ATM’s to find one that worked.

It was the worse kind of Déjà vu.

When I asked someone at the ticket counter where the airport hotel was, I was directed to this man who ended up walking me outside the airport.

“The hotel in the airport, right?” I attempted to confirm.

“Yes”

He lied.

I hopped on the back of his motorcycle while he gave me a whirlwind ride through the streets of Bangkok miles from the airport.

This would be me if I stayed in Thailand one minute longer

This would be me if I stayed in Thailand one minute longer

I started to get very worried.

I had read rumors of people getting gassed in their rooms so they could be robbed.

gassed in my hotel room

When he dropped my off and I went inside to check in, I was so drained, I was running on fumes.

I passed by a Thai prostitute who looked drugged out of her mind.

I went directly to my room, took a shower and went to bed.

Until I heard the tiny, earsplitting sound of a mosquito in my ear.

Great, I was going to leave Thailand with the gift of Malaria.

After unsuccessfully trying to murder it, I gave up and brought out the mosquito net I had purchased from REI.

mosquito net

I had the feeling not a single sole besides me was staying at this hotel.

Then, at 2 in the morning, I began to heard weird scuffling outside my door.

They’re here to gas me!!

I tried to ignore it.

I grew increasingly paranoid.

I was going to be brutalized and robbed in a matter of seconds.

I had to act fast.

I put a towel alongside the bottom of the door.

Thankfully old, dirty, paper thin towels are impenetrable against deadly chemical weapons.

I tried, unsuccessfully to go back to bed.

I had little interest in the rape that was surely to come.

So, at 3 in the morning, I got up, got dressed, ripped the mosquito net from my face and got the hell out of there.

Luckily no one spoke English enough to argue with me.

I spent the rest of the night in the Bangkok Airport, sleeping next to a large group of Tibetans who has apparently been there for months, stuck between both countries.

When I was finally able to check in, 7 hours later, the woman asked how many bags I had.

I did NOT want to check any bags so I kicked my bag aside right before she looked down to check.

“Just one.” I said innocently.

Well, as luck would have it, that same lady ended up being the one to scan everyone’s tickets before they boarded.

Shit!

I clearly had two bags, so I flung them both behind me back quite conspicuously as she took my ticket.

She craned her neck around, spying my contraband luggage and took me out of the line!

I pleaded with her that I could not risk losing this luggage, I may have started to tear up a bit.

Shockingly, this worked, and she let me board with both bags.

When I arrived in Los Angeles, seemingly weeks later, I had no where to live, no job. No one knew where on earth I was.

But I had never been so glad to be home in my life.

I took a taxi to my old, dingy West Hollywood apartment. The Russian driver offered me a cigarette and we both smoked in silence.

It’s as if he knew what I had been through and this was his way of saying “Sorry, comrade”

smoking in taxi

THAILAND – THE GREAT ESCAPE – PART #4

  • September 1, 2010 10:12 am

thailand ferry

My last night on the islands, I wasn’t feeling too hot.

I felt feverish, I looked like a burn victim and my sores were not getting better, especially constantly in contact with the intense heat.

I walked to a local pharmacy and was given some pathetic pills which did nothing.

We left Star Huts and backpacked further up the beach, even closer the bars and restaurants and vomit-blanketed beaches.

The room was pretty ghetto. It wasn’t air-conditioned and had one lonely, weak fan to cool the surprisingly large room down.

The room was never cool. My sores were getting worse.

I spent the evening bored and lonely and depressed, laying in my bed with the protection of the sleep sheet I had purchased at REI to wrap around yourself to protect from bug bites and crabs.

While Lee and Clare were out partying, I sat there thinking.

With all the death and destruction that lay around me and the not so subtle signs of my both my face and wallet taking a beating, I knew I had to go.

I had to go home now.

The next morning, I went to the pseudo lobby of our little complex of hotel rooms and tried to call my mother.

I could not get through and the front desk lady boy (I’m 100% certain she was a transvestite) spoke zero English.

I sat down at the several dingy, ancient computers and sent a few emails, including one to see if I could get any kind of refund for the expensive round the world airline ticket I had purchased.

No luck.

I couldn’t even use it for a flight home.

I didn’t even care at this point.

I was gonna wing it.

I had to get the hell out of here now. Before things got worse.

My dream vacation, the trip of a lifetime had completely crumbled to bits.

I told Lee and Clare, who were shocked, and hugged them goodbye.

Then I helped them kill a cockroach in our sickly green bathroom.

I packed up my crap with my head held low and left.

I took the ferry to the Koh Samui Airport. All the flights that day were full.

Of course they were.

samui-airport

The lady stared at my seeping sores as I purchased a standby ticket to Bangkok.

I tried to keep them hidden as I pulled my baseball cap on as tight as I could.

I sat on the cement outside the ticket counter for hours, watching everyone else come and go.

And get a peak at the American freakshow with the pizza face.

About four hours later I was able to get on a flight.

The tiny ass plane was so hot, I felt my sores begin to seep again. They did this in the heat, which Thailand has aplenty.

The air vents blowing on me were like the hot, fetid breath of an old man, angry at me for something.

When I reached Bangkok, I remembered my mother told me there was a hotel actually in the airport.

Yes!

Finally something coming easy to me.

But first, I needed to buy a plane ticket home.

I headed to the ticket counter at China Airlines.

When I saw their smiling faces, I knew something was wrong…

china airlines