The next day I decide to bump up the exercise a notch.

After all, I’m eating red chili popcorn and hot chili pistachio brittle at a maddening pace!

I go for a run around the neighborhood (getting lost at EVERY turn), then come back in time for our yoga and then we head out to the compound of Ghost Ranch (Georgia O’Keefe’s pad), which is now a museum, learning center, and HIPPY OASIS.

On our way to the ranch, we stop at the most random country store selling the largest array of spicy chips you ever did see.

I buy some red chili enchiladas that they kept in this barely warm heating case and we order some FRITO PIE.

I am 99% positive diahrea is around the corner.

We enjoy our meals inside the store, next to the town sheriff.

God, small towns scare me.

At the ranch, we do one of the most beautiful hikes I’ve ever done, wandering around the landscape that inspired Georgia as she fled to the isolation because she “found people difficult.”

We hike up to Chimney Rock, or Penis Rock, as the locals call it. (a complete lie)

We head to the gift shop to buy refreshments while the elderly cashier learns how to use the computer, and we must endure the most intense fart smell on record.

When we begin to head to our car, we encounter utter chaos!

To our left, under the tree, is a drum circle. To our right is a gaggle of girls sitting on the ground, laughing hysterically, most likely enjoying magic mushroom tea.

Then some old guy is playing guitar to no one in particular, next to a tree.

As I shut the car door on all the madness, I can still hear the girls screaming laughter.

Georgia would have been so proud. “Damn tree huggers all up in my business! I told you I don’t like people!” (direct quote)

Are you sensing Deja Vu yet? 🙂

At around 4 in the afternoon, we drove to the beautiful OJO CALIENTE, an upscale hot springs resort.

We paid our $16 entrance fee and relaxed in several of the 7 luxurious mineral hot springs and even took a mud bath.

Not the stereotypical lay in a vat of thick mud and get a yeast infection, rather you go to a pot of muddy water, rub it all over you and lay out in the sun to let it cake on.

Afterwards we hung out in several of the pools, including the Soda Pools, which aid in digestion and the Arsenic Pool (yes, it actually contains the poisonous substance) which is good for gross skin ailments and immediate death.

I relaxed on a hammock (or Ham Hock as my friend incorrectly refers to it) for the rest of the afternoon.

This is my view. Hideous.

The next morning, we do our routine yoga session, (god that woman on the DVD is becoming quite irritating – “I want you to do what’s good for you”

I’ll show you what’s good for you, lady.

We head out to the Tsankawi Prehistoric site with some incredible cave homes of the ancient Indians. And unlike the ones inside Bandelier, we have these all to ourselves and can wander inside all of them.

As we park, we realize we have to pay. Uh…really?

We already paid for Bandelier (which covers us for 7 days) but we tossed the receipt.

Hmm, do we take a chance and have a small town sheriff with a penchant for rape harass us?

Indeed.

Here I am, saving Louise’s very life!

So, we do our hike through these amazing caves and cliff dwellings. The hiking path is actually this really weird ancient stone aqueduct. Most likely for the spilled blood to drain.

On the walls of the caves are ancient Petroglyphs; graffiti of the rebellious Indian teens, smoking their peace pipes behind the pueblo.

Along the way are bits of ancient pottery, which we’re supposed to not touch and leave where we find it. The point of the place is an outdoor museum.

We decide to leave our Karma be and not sneak anything into our pockets.

My hikes back in LA are gonna SUCK after this!!

After we race back to our car, sure we are to find a $1000 ticket on the windshield (we lucked out) we head back to Santa Fe for lunch at The Shed.

It’s a nice, shady outdoor café and we order Green Chili Stew.

It’s a Santa Fe classic dish that has been dancing in my head since we got here.

I also order the Chilled Raspberry Soup (similar to chilled monkey brains). Quite nice.

Three bitefulls and it was finished.

We wander around town to see the Oldest House in America (allegedly).

Wasn’t much going on there.

We walk around the very BROWN town.

Then we see the a few old churches. I’m sure there’s some historical junk to note. That I didn’t note.

Then we see a mysterious staircase that a mysterious man made for the church from only wood, a hammer, some water and a level. No nails. And no support beams. Mysterious.

Apparently it was featured on Unsolved Mysteries a hundred years ago.

I light a prayer candle for my grandmother and then we head home for nap time. Yes, we’re 6 years old.

For dinner, we do the famous cornmeal crust pizza at Backroad Pizza, featured on ‘Dine-In’s, Diners and Dives’

We order the New Mexican pizza which features, of course, the omnipresent green chili’s and wash it down with an IPA.

BTW, this blog took me about 17 hours to complete. You guys had better be grateful!