We’ve been throwing parties at our pool for years now.

(I’m sure this is a sentence the poverty striken residents of Ethiopia utter on a regular basis)

Usually the theme is Luau.

Usually we wear floral print, do the limbo and serve Mai Tai’s.

Usually the youngin’s snort mysterious powders in someone’s bathroom while the semi-elderly pop painkillers and chain smoke.

The year Kenny Loggins showed up, I’ll never forget this exchange, when our inebriated friend “Fish Sticks” walked up to him.

“You gotta know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em!” – Fish Sticks

“Wrong Kenny.” – Kenny Loggins

We haven’t had a party in a while, so I was excited to throw this Princess Birthday party.

For an adult.

Chesty Morgan loves Disney. She loves Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

We combined these aspects to create a birthday to remember, we even created a Rum drink called “Belle’s Bombers”

I don’t recall what was in it, even though I watched it being made. As I witnessed the cheap, bottom-shelf plastic rum bottle squeeze out a headache inducing elixer, I realized I was not missing out.

We had a cake designer create a 12 layer birthday cake for us, it was the heaviest food I’ve ever lifted.

In addition to the cake, the designer gave us cupcakes and these amazing Cake Balls (pictured at top). They’re pieces of cake and icing smashed up into meatballs and dipped in chocolate! Incredible!

We played the game Celebrity, listened to excruciatingly bad pop music from Disney artists and ordered the a Big Mama’s Pizza. It’s literally as big as a table!

Notice the slash mark made from the grease! Underneath, it was a crime scene!

Chesty had a great time. I could tell this by the fact she held the enormous pitcher of premade rum and coke’s in her hand and sipped it with a straw. After everyone had left!

WE LOVE YOU CHESTY!!!