After relaxing for a bit near the Montage Hotel, wishing we could afford to stay there, we headed to one of the more private public beaches, Victoria Beach.

We parked along the road and followed some fake-orange-tanned, rich kids through a ritzy neighborhood until the street spat out directly on the sand. Phew! I would have been embarrassed if we would have followed them to their home!

We picked a spot, until a lifeguard had us move cuz we were in his way and spent the remainder of the afternoon burning our white flesh and acquiring concussions from the force of the angry waves. Roy constantly complained of muscles being pulled. We think the old man was exaggerating.

After we walked up the treacherously steep blacktop back to our car, we saw a cell phone sitting on a bench. I naturally picked it up and looked for scandalous texts. None were to be found, I was sorely disappointed.

We debated what to do, and then came to the conclusion that we were gonna leave it at a restaurant. I texted the person that was relentless calling at this point and told them to come to the Ocean Blvd Brewery to pick up the phone. And to please stop calling.

Good deed, accomplished.

We celebrated with an early bird dinner at Las Brisas, a very nice but casual restaurant perched right on the ocean bluff or cliff or…whatever. We saw the ocean from our incredibly sun-soaked seats.

We were basically seared out of our seats by the burning sun, eating our food as fast as possible to avoid becoming further fried. I had the Ahi burger with a wasabi sauce and excellent fries. None of which grew cold, thanks to the sun’s rays.

While shoveling the thing in my mouth (it eventually fell apart and I just ate it with my fork) we eavesdropped on a couple talking about private yachts and shopping sprees.

I was a bit frightened when I looked behind me. I wasn’t expecting to see a gremlin eating here! I hoped the waiter wouldn’t spill any water on her as she might multiply!

There are plastic surgery victims. And then there are PLASTIC SURGERY MONSTERS. She was the latter. I found it quite amusing how her man kept promising the world to her when her sole facial expression was of someone freshly embalmed!

We left the OC, having had a fantastic day. The views were gorgeous, the beaches were nice. Sad that this was only my second time at a beach since the summer began. There’s just no excuse. My skin is not nearly orange enough for being so late in the year.

361 Cliff Dr
Laguna Beach, CA 92651
(949) 497-5434
www.lasbrisaslagunabeach.com