The day after our jungle trek, we decided to take it easy and spend the day at Poipu Beach. We did nothing but read, swim and snorkle.

And make fun of people, of course. I mean, people watching.

Some guy was showing off doing military like pushups and yoga positions in front of three unimpressed ladies. And another woman was wearing a Bumpit in her hair. If you’ve not seen the corny infomercial for this odd hair accoutrement, you’re missing out.

This very necessary tool adds a festive lump to the top of your head. I suppose this can be considered arousing? However, I somehow doubt men are after you for the size of your hair. But, in case they are, the company also offers the special occasion Bumpit, which is deliciously extra large.

After our day of doing nothing, we drove to get a drink at the Hyatt and attempt to watch the sunset. I had a ridiculously sweet frozen banana pineapple rum cocktail. When in Rome..

But we ordered some fantastic Short Rib Nachos! Hmm..looking at the picture, I notice the blue corn tortilla chips look more like severed penguin fins. Not the case!

Sadly, the sun did not set in our view. In fact, it even rained a bit. But the hotel was beautiful, it was nice just sitting there, wondering if the waitress would illegally serve one of our slightly underage party. Which they did. Fools!

After the nachos had opened up our stomachs to allow more food in, we hauled ass in our obscenely large rented Ford Excursion to Brick Oven Pizza. The best pizza in Kauai. (I think there are only 2 pizza joints in Kauai)

Their crust is braided and brushed with a garlic butter. Not brushed enough in our opinion. We ordered the sausage and pepperoncini’s and a pepperoni with gross rubbery canned mushrooms. I promptly tossed those offending objects into a neighbor’s hair.

To finish off our feading frenzy, we went to famous Lapperts Ice cream. I got a scoop (yes, it appears I ordered 4, but this is what one looks like) of Kauai Pie, which is kona coffee, macadamia nuts, chocolate, blah blah blah. Delicious is what it was, so just lay off and stop asking me!

Oh, here’s a great view of…god knows what, after we were driving home from the long ass Na Pali coast hike.