Yes, I’m an adult going to Disneyland with other adults. Get over it.

Pictured above were the chosen, lucky ones.

And the only ones that would have any interest in going to Disneyland without a child in tow.

So, we did most of the rides, sure. But we also ate our way through the place. Damn, we forgot to get a churro!!

Our first meal was in the California Adventure theme park, after we had finished going on the three rides that seemed any good.

My Fajita Chicken salad was about the size of Bonnie. And eating Bonnie would probably have been healthier. And in order to properly toss the salad, I ended up tossing half of it on the ground.

My opinion of Disneyland and Disney in general is twofold. I find Disney instills dangerous notions of perfect lives and happily ever after. I also find it to be an unignorable part of my childhood, creating waves of nostalgia (as well as nausea) and indescribable “good feelings.”

Regardless, I love this place. I never went as a child (horrible parents, locked in a basement, ect.) so I was shocked at my reaction upon my first visit at age 22. I actually went for three days straight! Huh?

Well, I certainly don’t have to visit Middle America now. I found myself surrounded by every resident of a red state. Forcing their way through the crowd, running over feet with their baby strollers, their Mickey Mouse ears sliding off their sweating heads, spilling their frozen lemonades on their fat guts.

For many folks, Disneyland is IT for the year as far as vacations go. Their one escape from reality. Their one chance to spend an inordinate amount of cash on shiny, spinny, swirly Disney memorablia and enormous pickles.