Pictured above is what one orders if one is NOT a sushi afficionado.

So, I’ve been house and cat sitting in Venice for the past few weeks, otherwise, I rarely get out here. The cat’s name is Big Guy and he’s ancient, cute, but with fetid breath.

He wakes me up every morning before my run on the beach and scratches at my chin with his enormous paw containing weathered, dull claws.

Ok, enough with the cat stories folks, I don’t want you guys to pass out at your computer screens. I don’t want to have 5 damaged keyboards out there!

Hama Sushi is 2 blocks away from me. It has a very neighborhoody feel to it. And by neighborhoody, I mean, it has a fly infestation.

If you sit at the patio bar, you get access to a happy hour menu. Which I did. $4 sushi rolls? Yes, indeedy!

This was the first time I’ve ever gone to a restaurant BY MYSELF. I admit, I was a bit nervous. You do need something to look at or read. Thank god for flat screen TV’s (and swatting at flies.)

I ordered some non sushi-lover rolls (spicy tuna and a veggie) and a water. Big spenda! I’m sure the waitress ran to the back to tell the manager that Bun Boy was here and his substantial order may, in fact, cause a run on the raw fish supply.

I sat in my uncomfortable chair with no leg rest, while my legs began to fall asleep and ate my sushi in 20 minutes with the other single and cheap people. The woman next to me talking about some damn movie, had such a screaching voice, I crossed my fingers that she would mistake the chunk of wasabi for a piece of sushi!

After dinner I needed something sweet so I headed to the Venice boardwalk. OBSERVATION: What is it with the smell of the Venice homeless?? Their scent is that of someone who’s rolled in Patchouli and Nag Champa incense and then left it on for a MONTH sans bathing. Now, that’s a special kind of stink.

I eventually found my way back to Abbot Kinney and to the Intelligentsia / Venice coffee bar. God knows what their name is but inside, it’s a clusterfuck!

I don’t think I saw a menu but luckily I saw a thimble-sized display case of deserts inches above the floor where I chose the chocolate ganache tart. It was not cheap, and I felt pressured to tip $1 on top of it as I made my way around the confusing circular counter area wondering where the hell do I pay?

I won’t tell you how good it OBVIOUSLY was. I’ll just show you….

LOOK DEEP WITHIN THE TART! DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU TO!…..

213 Windward Ave
Venice, CA 90291
(310) 396-8783
www.hamasushi.com